Mourning my mother

[LFF]

My condolences, to you and your entire family. My heart goes out to you guys.

[recstar24]

My condolences. God bless.

[Dusty Chalk]

My condolences, Al.

[nikongod]

My Condolences Al

Edited July 17, 2011 by nikongod

[dBel84]

my condolences too, be at peace ..dB

[shellylh]

RIP MOTDOTU from Maui (sorry couldn't find a good Manhattan here)

Edited July 17, 2011 by shellylh

[Asr]

Thanks for the links Al - looks like she was an amazing woman who led an amazing life. Will certainly raise a glass in her honor. Best wishes to you and your family too.

[crappyjones123]

Sorry about the news al. she seems like a lovely person.

[Voltron]

Thanks to each and every one of you. Beautiful tribute drinks Mike, Jim and Shelly.

We had a beautiful funeral mass and tribute yesterday with about 300 in attendance. The priest came back from his new parish to do the service, which was special to us because he has known my mother and family since I was in grade school. He was at our old parish, then moved to my parents new parish that they joined after moving across town. My sister and brother gave great eulogies, and I got through my reading without breaking down. My dad was happy with the service, which was paramount to all of us.

[robm321]

I'm sorry for your loss Al. I'll keep your family in my prayers.

[bozebuttons]

My condolences Al to you and your family.Your mom will always be with you even if not in the physical form.

[swt61]

I had not met your Mother Al, but judging from the job she did of making such a fine person out of the Son I have met, and have come to consider a good friend, I know she must have been a really wonderful gal.

If some of us do get to go to a better place when we pass, then I have no doubts that your Mother has a place of honor there, and will be greeted with all the love she had surely given in life.

May your Father weather these days ahead as well as can be hoped for, and may your whole family get through this as best they can. Please give Claire, Sophie and Alden my condolences. I hate to think of them hurting, and don't be afraid to shed some tears yourself Al. As a poofter it's the best advice I can give. I cry at sad TV commercials, and I've always treasured my sensitive nature. It always makes me feel better.

I'm Going to have a beer tonight with my steak dinner, just to be able to raise a glass to your Mother!

[MexicanDragon]

For Al's mom.

She seems to have raised a great family, and I think your friends here benefit from that fact.

I didn't have the stuff for a Manhattan, so I made a trip out today.

RIP MOTDOTU.

-Brent

[Voltron]

Thanks Rob, Tom, Steve and Brent. Very touched that you picked up Manhattan materials to toast my mom, Brent, thanks for that too. I may not be a poofter, Steve, but I have shed lots of tears these last few days, including when I read your post. I hadn't planned to speak at her rosary on Friday night but felt I should when the time came. I broke down in tears a couple of times during my remarks but my mom would never let that stop her, so I persevered.

Another couple of times I started weeping today were when I looked at my iPhone pics. A couple of times during my mother's last day we felt compelled to take some photos when she was doing better because we were certain that we were going to lose her soon. At the risk of being morbid I am going to share a couple of those pics and the stories that go with them.

I take my online persona from the defender of the universe, but my mother was known in the family as the Boss of the World because she was pretty sure she had something to say about everything going on around her. It was always said lovingly and it was never meant to suggest she was domineering, but it was a good nickname. Anyway, my poor father kept asking her for a smile even when she was doing very poorly. She often obliged, but she also tossed in a roll of her eyes a few times just to show she disapproved a bit. Here is one pic from quite late in the night and about 12 hours into the 25 hours of her final hospital visit.

Even later, when all six siblings were present after my sister arrived from Minnesota (by a little miracle she was already on her way that day) and my brother made an emergency trip up from LA, somebody decided that we needed to take a family picture. We've done this innumerable times over my lifetime but this one seemed incredibly weird. I had just walked back into the room and violated infection control protocol by not putting on the gown and gloves instantly but everyone else looked like Smurfs, which only added to the oddity. The amazing thing was that as we lined up beside her hospital bed and my nephew started to take a picture, my mom started clawing at the oxygen mask she needed to wear the entire time day. We all freaked out that she was in crisis but as soon as somebody helped her get it off she struck a pose and flashed a big smile for the camera. Yes, the Boss of the World was dissatisfied with her appearance for her last ever family photo. I will never, ever forget those last moments and hours, good and bad.

Edited July 18, 2011 by Voltron

[grawk]

Al, she looks wonderful in those shots. I'm sure she was amazing, because the one of her children I know is amazing.

[Wmcmanus]

Al, I'm just amazed at her spirit for life. So incredible that she managed to muster those smiles, and only because she knew you would all treasure the pictures. What a lovely, gracious lady.

Incidentally, I'm glad that you identified yourself as the guy without the gown. You're as spitting image of your older brother in the foreground.

[boomana]

I'm tearing up just looking at the pictures, and not because they are the last, but because there is so much love in the room. Beautiful.

[shellylh]

^this, well put Vicki.

[Absorbine_Sr]

I'm tearing up just looking at the pictures, and not because they are the last, but because there is so much love in the room. Beautiful.

Agreed.

[jvlgato]

Yeah, what Vicki said. And you all inherited her Million Dollar smile, which is a really nice thing to inherit. Touching.

Edited July 18, 2011 by jvlgato

[Dreadhead]

What Vicki and jvlgato said, I can't add anything more...

Sorry again for your loss.

Edited July 18, 2011 by Dreadhead

[Tyll Hertsens]

Wow ... speechless ... what a family.

[Looser101]

My sincerest condolences, Al.

[postjack]

so sorry for your loss Al. sending prayers and vibes to you and your family.

[swt61]

I'm tearing up just looking at the pictures, and not because they are the last, but because there is so much love in the room. Beautiful.

This!

I'm so happy that she had all of you there.

When my Grandmother passed in 2003, she was in quite a bit of pain the last day, and thrashed around quite a bit. Because of this the family members had a hard time staying in the room. I was determined that someone would be there holding her hand when she left us, whether she knew it or not. So in the end it was my Cousin Michelle and I. We both held her hands and told her it was OK to go, and that we'd take care of my Grandfather. She passed just a few minutes later.