And now what did you do TODAY?

[skullguise]

3 hours ago, MexicanDragon said:

[snip] Man, now I want a biscuit...

Good luck Brent!  But in regards to the above....please don't

https://www.cnn.com/2023/03/09/world/asteroid-collision-risk-2046-nasa-scn/index.html

[swt61]

Fingers crossed Brent!

I'm hoping it happens because I'd love to see you fall off of a more expensive bike.

[mikeymad]

One Tomahawk Rib Eye please, and one to go. 

Did I get the job? 

 

{good luck Brent}

 

[swt61]

So I found out something yesterday, and it has me in a weird place.

Only once previously in my career have I ever dated a co-worker. That was a long time ago, in Alaska. We dated a few times, but I didn't develop any real feelings for him, and it didn't end badly, but was a bit awkward for a while. He was actually a few years older than me. And we absolutely never let anyone know about it, as neither of us were out at work.

Now some 35ish years later, and I'm learning that another co-worker has a crush on me, and wants to pursue those feelings. I have always been extremely professional at work, mostly because I absolutely had to be. And I definitely have mixed feelings about this happening. There are a couple of issues that have me grappling with this. Firstly, just the fact that it's difficult to date a co-worker. And secondly, the fact that this co-worker is much younger than me. Much, much younger!

I discovered this co-worker's feelings from other co-workers. I have had 3 people in our company try to talk me into dating this young man. Even my boss has been encouraging. This fact alone is kind of blowing my mind. 

The thing is that everyone has kind of taken this young man under their wings, including me. I just didn't realise the feelings were more than admiration for a mentor.

My gaydar might be slightly out of tune, but I think the language barrier is more the culprit. Plus, I never expect to be looked upon romantically from someone under 1/3 of my age. This young man started working with us approximately 4 - 5 months back. He's the Nephew of another employee. And both are from Peru. I immediately noticed this young man's desire to learn carpentry, and his natural ability to pick things up quickly. I taught him several things in trim carpentry, and even passed down some tools that I had in duplicate. 

His Uncle was trying to drop hints, to which I was oblivious (again, the language barrier). But the other day he just came out and told me how his Nephew felt about me. He doesn't seem to be uncomfortable with his Nephew's feelings at all. Even though he's just learning of his Nephew's homosexuality. There's also the cross generational thing, which apparently bothers me more than anyone else in the company. 

These kinds of relationships are not at all rare in the gay community, nor do they have the same stigma as they might in the heterosexual world. My own belief is that so many gay boys are rejected and unloved by their Fathers, that they seek out a pseudo Father figure in their romantic relationships. And so many gay men that may have always wanted a Son do the same.

Anyway, I've been asked if I'd take him to dinner and a movie, and just see where that leads. Now I really like this young man, and he is kind of adorable, but I'm really not the long term involvement type, as well as the generational issue that I can't seem to come to terms with.

Mostly I just don't want to hurt his feelings. And leading him on to any type of romantic scenario seems wrong. I'm just not good at relationships. I've always kept my sex life just exactly that...sex.

So I have agreed to go to dinner and a movie Friday after work, but I'm anything but comfortable with this at the moment. Any and all advice will be taken in and evaluated. 

Oh, by the way, his age is 19. Just saying that makes me feel very pedo.

[dsavitsk]

Campsite Rule

[swt61]

I guess that I should elaborate more.

I don't have any intentions of a sexual relationship with this boy. I know that even if I wanted to, a romantic relationship is not my strong suit. Given that this young man is so young, that's really a recipe for messing up a young mind. My feelings of guilt before anything at all has even happened are another reason I know that would be a very bad idea.

What I would like to achieve Friday, is way of explaining the situation to him in a way that leaves him feeling OK with the fact that our relationship will stay professional and friendly. He was rejected by his biological Father early in his life, and has not had a strong influence from a man in his life. The last thing that I want to do is make him feel rejected one more time. This is a delicate thing to achieve,  but I want to believe that it's possible. 

[Voltron]

I just mentioned your posts to Dorothy and her first thought was that you should take him to someplace in the Castro because he needs introduction to the community, not to the TICE. OK she didn't say the last part. 😂

[blessingx]

I dunno. Steve it's kind of you to be considerate of the experience and potential power imbalance, but I gotta say aren't you assuming a little about pseudo fathers and fragility and how it applies in his case? Maybe it's true, but maybe he just kinda likes specifically you. And you wouldn't be you at a more matched age. Also maybe some protective "not good at relationships" stuff to get past too? Tread caring and carefully and see where it leads? 

 

Edited April 13, 2023 by blessingx

[skullguise]

I have no good advice to give....but my gut tells me YOUR gut instinct is a good one.  If there's a way to be a "Gay Mentor" I'd say maybe try to do that....  But that's just a random thought.

Wishing you - and him - the best!

[mikeymad]

At first I thought this might be a Milo & Otis thing. 

But, I can say that any workplace relationship can be tricky and everyone needs to tread lightly, but in the end you are two humans being humans. As long as everyone's eyes are open (within reason), follow the feelings. 

cheers

[MexicanDragon]

Lunch update: postponed due to animal emergency on the side of the main dude; I was completely understanding and told him to take care of the pupperz and we'd reschedule.

Should be rescheduled for later in the week, or early next week. For now, drinking.

[robm321]

Steve, you don't want my advice. I have a lifetime of evidence that points to the fact that my choices have been sus (as the kids say). 

Tough situation, but I'm sure it's exciting too. That's usually where I would be an emotional wreck, wishing my life would go back to being simple. 

You're a good, considerate dude, with moral character, so I think you'll make the right choices if and when things develop. Try to just enjoy the date, and you'll figure out the rest.

[Dusty Chalk]

I've got nuthin'. 

I like pussy.

CATS!  I mean cats!

NO!  I don't mean sex, I mean I get my companionship from my kitties.

Egad, just forget I said anything.

I find no decision about romance or sex isn't more intelligently made after a good wank.

[Aimless1]

Advice from an old man is suspect, and I am older than you 😇.  I generally counsel against workplace dating or romance.  However, trust YOUR instincts.  They have served you well.

I've been nurse sitting my SO.   She had knee replacement a week ago.  Doing well and can begin using a cane part time instead of the walker full time.  

[Absorbine_Sr]

I offer no "elder" advice other than this. I know you Steve. You like to do what is right. You'll figure out what that is for this situation and go with it. 

[swt61]

This is how the night went...

I picked him up at his jobsite after work. He does not drive, and usually rides with his Uncle. We just made small talk as I drove him to his home to shower and change clothes. I chatted with his Uncle while that took place. I think his Uncle was more excited than anyone.

When he was ready we went to a local (Daly City) Greek spot for Gyros. He had never experienced a Gyro, and he absolutely loved it. While having our Gyros, I directed the conversation straight (no pun intended) to his sexuality. I wanted to get that out of the way. He was a bit embarrassed as we talked openly, but was very forthcoming. He is a virgin, and has never really been attracted to girls. He does seem to be a bit confused about exactly what his sexuality is, as he's also never done anything with another guy.

He just said that he feels good whenever he's around me. He definitely has Father figure feelings toward me, but is confused regarding the other. He did say that he thought I was very handsome, to which I joked "well of course, you do have good eyesight", and that managed to get a chuckle from him.

He's such an innocent young man. Warm and friendly with a curiosity about everything. I do enjoy being around him. But I'm certain that in no way do I want to be his first sexual encounter. We've agreed that we will be friends for now, and I've offered to slowly introduce him into the gay community. Then he can better determine where he fits in.

I'm about 95% sure that he's gay. But want him to take all the time he needs to figure that out for himself. I'm also determined to steer him toward guys his age. Your first sexual experience is extremely important in setting the tone for future relationships. And those would be easier if they involved similar ages and stages in life.

I realized that I do feel very protective toward him. And maybe a Father figure/mentor will not only be beneficial for him, but myself as well. 

We ended our outing watching Mario at the theater, where he did snuggle into me a bit, and I didn't discourage that. Very innocent, but kind of cute.

Edited April 15, 2023 by swt61

[swt61]

Taking away a balcony door on the top floor rental of a home in the Sunset District. 

Replacing old door with a window. My boss is a stickler for matching the height to the existing window, down to the 1/16".

That's the hardest part, especially since the existing window is nothing like the new one.

Turned out great. Once the painter is done it'll look like it's always been that way.

[swt61]

Boss pulled me aside this morning. Told me that I came in well under the projected budget on the job I finished up about a month ago. He asked me if there was any tool that I hadn't already bought for myself?

I told him that the only tool I own that still needs a wall outlet is my table saw.

So...

I found the best deal on it that I could, and they told me to put it on my company card. 

And as soon as I ordered it, one of my coworkers offered me $150 for my corded version. 

Makita doesn't make a cordless table saw, but this will work just fine.

[swt61]

Al, I guess I have more extension cords for the shop.

[Aimless1]

12.5 hours, 750 miles, road construction and Kansas City MO rush hour traffic.  Tried to find a place to stay.  Had no idea KC was hosting the NFL draft nor that almost every room in the area is booked.  Drove another hour and a quarter to stay in Topeka.  
 

Will finish my cigar and find food then a few drams of scotch before I crash and burn. 

[swt61]

Hope you get some good rest Al.

[Aimless1]

Returning from Tribune KS with this travel trailer

 

 

[luvdunhill]

Put some walnuts (Texas Walnut aka juglans microcarpa) into simulated winter … aka in my refrigerator. 

i think it’s pretty cool that walnut trees give off a poison that prevents other plants from growing nearby and competing with it ☠️ 

Edited April 25, 2023 by luvdunhill

[swt61]

I'm not impressed. I had 13 siblings at one time.

[Dusty Chalk]

I went into full out, voice breaking road rage...and didn't kill anyone or run them off the road.

Yeah, that's my best right now.

(pats self on back)