And now what did you do TODAY?

[MexicanDragon]

 

My view from the stage of the Tivoli Theatre in Chattanooga, TN.  Dress rehearsal for tomorrow night's big Christmas Concert along with a ~60 piece chorus backing us up.  Should be a good show.  I'm pretty excited.  I've seen some great performances on this stage, from world renown violinists to big bands to George Carlin.

Now, some kid in the audience, years later, can say "I played the same venue as that Mexican dude with the big head!"

I can't wait.

 

**BRENT**

[Wmcmanus]

It was near the end of a 2-hour very public Santa gig that I do every Thursday night, and there had been an unually high concentration of screaming babies. It was also a bit hot, so my cooling vests were on their last leg, and my mind was starting to wander. Then as I looked up, three youngish (to me anyway) women in their late 20s or early 30s approached me, all giddy and full of "inside joke" kind of laughter. They immediately started to get quite "fresh" with Santa, one on each knee (which is fine) but rubbing up on me in somewhat inappropriate ways, and the banter was right in step with their physicalness.

Not that I minded so much, it was a welcome break from the routine, especially on this night. Some of those babies were like worms, kicking and screaming. Lots of sweet, innocent moments as well with angelic children, but that aside, this trio was shaping up to a quite interesting photo session. The photographer was going along with it as well, and probably couldn't hear half of what they were saying. Oddly enough, I didn't even notice them as they had stood in line. Just, boom! There they were, and they were all about Santa.

Or so I thought. But apparently, they enjoy each other's company as well. More on that in a moment. But first, when I asked them what they wanted for Christmas, the least attractive of the three (and she wasn't half bad for a Thursday night) looked at the other two and asked, "Should I tell him?" They nodded, so she did. Not surprisingly, she wanted to get some pics with Santa pretending to (or actually, I'm not so sure which), spank her. I quickly declined, saying, "Sorry, I don't do anything like that. It will get all over Facebook, and I've got hundreds of Santa friends who will disapprove..." They thought that was kind of funny (I do too, when I think about it), but I assured them that it was true.

So back to the little kids we go. We were actually running overtime. It was 7:10pm and I graciously agreed to hang around for the remaining 3 or 4 families with young'uns who were still in line. Behind the cameraman, off in the distance a bit, the three of them were hanging on, frolicking around with each other, and taking pics of odd poses on a bench that is made to look like a polar bear. I didn't think much of it, but would learn quickly that they were waiting for me!

Now everyone is packing up, the props crew is knocking down the steal-able bits on the set, and the photo crew was taking down their portable lighting, while I was packing the candy bag away inside the toy bag, putting my royal robe back on and grabbing Rudolph's neck harness to head back to the SUV/sleigh. Now the conversation gets interesting. They all have boyfriends, and at least one of them isn't a half bad guy according to the others. He dates the real stunner, a Caymanian girl, who I was kind of taking a liking to. Tall and slim, beautiful smile. Definitely the pick of the litter...

But he's too Churchy for her taste, and her other friends think that he's waiting for her to lure him into sin. She vows not to do so, which is to say that although he's quite interested in her sexually, he's yet to make the move. Now I guess I'm supposed to be a counselor?!?! No, as it turns out, that's not the point they intended to make. It seems that they noticed that I noticed her as well, and think that she... all of them, actually... have noticed that I might just have a little naughtiness up my sleeve somewhere, something they now wish to explore.

Well, it didn't take long until they just came right out with it, that despite their "straight" nature, each of them they assured me, they are very close friends, and have come up with this fun game that they now like to play along with a 4th young lady who was unfortunately not in plain view for my evaluation. Yet, they assured me that she's every bit as cute as they are, and we're talking a 9 and two 6s. In any event, they've coined the term "boobie cocoon" (yes, there is a payoff to this long story, or so I'm now hoping). As you might imagine, this game they play involves anywhere from 6 to 8 boobies, and they're trying to recruit another pair or two in the near future. Said boobies are rubbed every which way to the carnal delight of some lucky recipient, mostly themselves.

Sounding more and more interesting, and perhaps "worth the wear and tear" as Mick Jaggar once sang (credit "Some Girls"), so I provided them with one of my "adult" Santa cards (not what you're thinking, just a card with my cell number and email address), and encouraged them to call me soon. I've been home for several hours now; it doesn't seem to be happening tonight.

What's most interesting is that none of them seemed to know me. They thought that surely I wasn't local, or they would have seen me around the place by now, and figured that they "flew me in" to be Santa... hopefully they won't sniff around too much, and then start getting shy all of a sudden.

I may or may not actually go through with it. My loins say yes, but they're all very local and even more vocal. Not so sure I'd want to take the reputational risk, speaking as Santa now, not as merely an old fat guy who would never otherwise have a chance to come to bat in a triple header... not to mention to boobie cocoon, which they claim is outright intergallactic - it was weird, they all actually spoke with very strange words, big words. I think they've had many conversations about this topic - not the Santa aspect - but just the general experience that they like to 'share' with one another.

Edited December 14, 2012 by Wmcmanus

[HeadphoneAddict]

Santa wins this round.

[Wmcmanus]

Forgot to mention... I got my $100 from the West Bay police department today as well. It was actually $150, which they were quite honest about. There is a $50 court cost that you have to pay whether you go to court to fight the ticket or not. It's in the small print on the back of the ticket, they tell me. They didn't think I should be out of pocket anything at all. Didn't get a chance to talk to Sergent Williams, but I'll see him on Sunday. Event on!

[Wmcmanus]

Santa wins this round.

If I could ditch the other two after the boobie cocoon and have a full round with the cutie pie Caymanian girl (and a rare one at that), I know for sure that I'd be willing to answer that bell.

Edited December 14, 2012 by Wmcmanus

[HeadphoneAddict]

If I could ditch the other two after the boobie cocoon and have a full round with the cutie pie Caymanian girl (and a rare one at that), I know for sure that I'd be willing to answer that bell.

 

But, two 6's make a 12 !!

[Wmcmanus]

But, two 6's make a 12 !!

Boobies-wise, they were perfectly fine, and as best I can tell, that's all they seemed to be offering or even suggesting anyway.

[cutestory]

I love Santa's stories.

 

*happysigh*

[skullguise]

Wow, Wayne, two great Santa stories!  Really glad the police one has that ending, I bet the one who was an arse to you got a little mouthfull.  Let's see if he's there at that event and says anything to you....

 

And boobie cocoon.....sure beats a small plate of cookies! 

[jvlgato]

The whole university is purple?

That would be really cool! Maybe KG can get it done. I do recall that there's a small stone with hundreds of layers of paint (mostly purple, I think?) which over the years has grown from the paint to the size of a boulder. Could just be an urban myth, though.

Santa, please keep us informed of Cayman boobie cocoon. Preferably with pics. Followed by instructions on how to start up my own Santa gig. I'm sure there's a big demand for Asian Santas.

[crappyjones123]

Or Indian ones. I too am interested in your newsletter.

[jvlgato]

Would consider Indian people to be Asian? I always had, but could be cultural wrong on that. Well, if nothing else, we could hire each other for our families. And of course, stay on the lookout for the above noted games ...

[agile_one]

Santa a chick magnet?  Who knew?

 

Vicki - purple is nice - also color of one of my alma maters, Bourne, MA High School.  Don't overdo the weights, as tempting is it may be.  We don't want any setbacks.

[ironbut]

Hmm,

Just how does someone get into this "Santa" gig anyway?!

[swt61]

While the "boobie cacoon" does not excite me, translating that into my world, and the booty cocoon, I can understand your desire to experience this. Fingers crossed for you Santa!

[Wmcmanus]

Actually, I think I just want to fuck the hot chick, but still no ringy dingy from any of these crazy girls. A couple of minutes after we departed company, and as I got to my SUV in the under-building parking lot, one of the 6s walked past me, so I kind of chuckled to acknowledge her presence as she walked on, and laughing said, "Boobie cocoon" while shaking my head. She said, "Oh, you can laugh, but I can assure you that it's real!" Not that I had any doubts. But still no call...

[n_maher]

I'm waiting for the ginger avenger to show up for dinner.

[crappyjones123]

downloaded splice. 

 

i know how i will be spending the next week doing. this game is more addictive than crack. 

[morphsci]

Good luck Jacob. Hoping Christmas comes early for you.

[boomana]

Most definitely this ^

[skullguise]

Good news Jacob!  And, a toast for luck 

[n_maher]

Good luck, Jacob.

[shellylh]

Good luck Jacob.

[Augsburger]

Good luck dude!

[swt61]

Good luck Jacob!