And now what did you do TODAY?

[Wmcmanus]

A good friend of mine, both a former student and a former colleague, died the other night. Hank was about 40, give or take a year. There are all sorts of rumors flying around at this point as to whether his death was from natural causes, or not. I've heard that he died in his sleep from suffocation, but I've also heard that he hung himself. He was quite overweight (even much more so than I am) and I know that he suffered from an extreme case of sleep apnea (whereas my case is quite mild), but it definitely gives me pause.

Hank was quite bright and had earned two master's degrees, yet for whatever reasons he couldn't ever seem to keep a job and was forever looking (in recent years, especially). His general disposition was kind of glum and at times he seemed almost expressionless; he didn't talk much and often seemed depressed about his physical appearance and lack of luck with women (which were things he did actually, and often, talk to me about). But he also had a masterful dry and sarcastic wit and an uncanny ability to express himself with very few words (think John Belushi with the eyebrows and devious grin followed by a cryptic comment but with no indication as to whether he was joking or not).

The students at the College all loved him as a teacher and advisor, I guess because of his verbal economy in the classroom and the fact that he was such an intent listener and sort of an eerily others-oriented person. He wanted all of his students to succeed, not only in his classes, but in their lives as well. Oddly enough, he never seemed to be able to make his own life work, yet he helped so many others to make their lives work.

He was the kind of person who seemed to know what everyone in the room was thinking, and could anticipate almost exactly, word for word, what they would say next. He watched people carefully. I remember one student telling me that one night just as she started to raise her hand in a class of about 30 people, Hank glanced up just for a split second and said, "We're on page 178, Lisa, problem 2." Then she went on to say, "I don't know how he does it. He was looking down at his book. He must have eyes on the top of his head, like flies do." When I asked Hank about it, he just said, "Whenever I sense movement in her general direction, I just assume that her brain has gone AWOL again." He didn't smile.

I'll sure miss him; he was a good, albeit little understood, man.

[Aimless1]

Get well Larry.

Sorry for the loss of your friend Wayne.

[Voltron]

Sorry for the loss, Wayne. RIP Hank.

[shellylh]

Sorry for the loss Wayne.

[raffy]

Sorry for your loss Wayne.

Get back to good health soon Larry.

[Dreadhead]

Feel better Larry.

Sorry for your loss Wayne.

[HeadphoneAddict]

This is a good place to vent so no worries Larry, and take care of yourself. Waiting with excited anticipation to find out how Mary and Emily enjoyed the East Coast College road trip. It's crunch time for applications and decisions and the anticipation is killing me. On one hand we want our daughter to have a fantastic college learning experience, on the oher hand we are going to miss having her around on a daily basis.

I know what you're going through. My daughter did the east coast college trip summer 2010 to see 7 schools in 8 days, and she put her top choices as Boston U, Princeton and Cornell. Then we went to see Duke over spring break this year and she put Duke at the top of her list. She's already completed an early decision application to Duke, and we're finishing up the financial aid forms.

She is such an extraordinary student/kid that she didn't need to do early decision to get in, but she can't imaging not going there and it increases her chances three-fold. Unfortunately this might cost us as much as $5-10K a year less in scholarships and grants because we can't pit the schools against each other with better offers.

Anyway, we're going to try to enjoy the next 10 months before she goes away, but it just feels wrong to not have her living here with us all the time when she starts school.

And Wayne, sorry for your loss. Also, I don't think you are that overweight, I think of you more like the giant Hagrid from Harry Potter. You carry your height well.

[Augsburger]

Sorry for the loss Wayne, your friend seems like an extraordinary person and educator.

[blessingx]

Sorry to hear Wayne.

[jvlgato]

Get better, HPA.

Sorry for your loss, Wayne. Sounds like a troubled guy.

Boy, I feel older every day, esp when people my age get so sick and/or die. Live well, you just never know, eh?

[The Monkey]

Sorry to hear the bad news, Wayne. He sounds like a fascinating guy. Died too young.

[Salt Peanuts]

Sorry to hear of your loss, Wayne.

[mrarroyo]

Get well Larry. Sorry for your loss Wayne.

Met with Carl for Chinese lunch in Fort Lauderdale. Did a bit of listening of new gear, lots of fun.

[Grahame]

Well, at least once you've read one, you needn't bother with the rest Cosmo Has Run Same Article Every Month For 27 Years

[screaming oranges]

Picked up my brother from a car accident. He's ok. Nothing happened at all to him, not a scratch.

Car? Busted up.

Lesson: DON'T TEXT AND DRIVE.

[n_maher]

Feel better Larry.

Shit Wayne, sorry for your loss.

[morphsci]

Hope you get better soon Larry.

Sorry for your loss Wayne. Hank sounded like an interesting fellow.

[Aura]

Sorry to hear about your friend Wayne. That was a very nice read about him though, sounds like he was a great guy even if things never quite worked out for him.

Glad to hear your brother is alright Alex. I am admittedly guilty of sending short texts at times when i'm in the car. I know it's stupid and highly dangerous and I really should never do it. Hearing your news, coupled with a recent email my grandfather sent me of a guy who put a rail guard through the full length of his car while he was starting at his phone, makes me seriously want to keep my phone in my pocket.

I put in my two weeks' notice at my part-time job today. It was never supposed to be permanent and I had no intention of even caring about leaving that store, yet I still feel guilty about it. On to better things.

[Torpedo]

Condolences for your loss Wayne.

[skullguise]

Wow, a string of tough news. Sorry to Wayne, condolences to Hank's friends and family. And best wishes to Larry and Alex's brother as well

[screaming oranges]

I feel like an inconsiderate jerk for not wishing my condolences to Wayne when I posted about my brother. Just came in and typed and totally disregarded the context of the thread at the moment.

Both my apologies and condolences to you, Wayne.

Also, wishing good vibes over in Larry's direction!

[aardvark baguette]

Have not kept up with this thread.

Condolences.

[guzziguy]

^that.

[Wmcmanus]

I feel like an inconsiderate jerk for not wishing my condolences to Wayne when I posted about my brother. Just came in and typed and totally disregarded the context of the thread at the moment.

Both my apologies and condolences to you, Wayne.

Also, wishing good vibes over in Larry's direction!

Ah, no need, man. This does, however, reflect well on you. You're anything but inconsiderate. (I sort of feel the same way for not responding with respect to Larry's ongoing struggles. It's hard to understand why some people have to continually battle serious health issues while others seem to have all of the luck in that department. Such a random existence, when you really think about it. Anyway, good thoughts your way, Larry.)

Last night on campus, things were kind of weird. Everyone seemed to be "off" of their usual games. Some of the girls were taking it pretty rough. One got up in the middle of class to go outside to cry, and another one ran behind her to comfort her. That kind of thing. We all sat around and talked about him, but not in the story telling sense. People were just wondering what had happened, and why him, why now. I learned today from a direct conversation with one of the police officers who responded to the initial call that there were absolutely no signs of foul play, nor was there any evidence or even the slightest suggestion that his death was self inflicted. It's now just a matter of seeing what the autopsy says, and in the meantime everyone is doing what they can to cull the rumors the he hung himself and that type of nonsense that goes around so quickly in a small community like this.

Thanks, everyone, for your condolences and well wishes. It's something that will stay with me for a while because he was such a likable guy who wouldn't hurt a fly even if you paid him to. We're trying to organize a memorial service for him on campus, but will wait until his funeral services have been arranged, such that our little deal will not occur until after his burial, and his family can see for themselves how much he meant to the students as well as the rest of us who were touched by his gentle soul. As I've said to myself many times these past couple of days, "Fuck!" (as I shake my head in disbelief). But life keeps marching on, as it must. It's funny, because it makes you assess your own existence and think about ways in which it might be possible to slow down here and there and smell the roses, so to speak.

Edited October 13, 2011 by Wmcmanus

[HeadphoneAddict]

Thanks Wayne, but I didn't feel snubbed at all - it would bog everything down if everyone felt they just had to respond to every single sad post with well wishes!