Grahame Posted December 1, 2011 Report Posted December 1, 2011 *A Cow based Economics Lesson; SOCIALISM You have 2 cows. You give one to your neighbor. COMMUNISM You have 2 cows. The State takes both and gives you some milk. FASCISM You have 2 cows. The State takes both and sells you some milk. NAZISM You have 2 cows. The State takes both and shoots you. BUREAUCRATISM You have 2 cows. The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the milk away. TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income. ROYAL BANK OF SCOTLAND (VENTURE) CAPITALISM You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States , leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release. The public then buys your bull. SURREALISM You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons. AN AMERICAN CORPORATION You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow has dropped dead. A FRENCH CORPORATION You have two cows. You go on strike, organize a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows. A JAPANESE CORPORATION You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called a Cowkimona and market it worldwide. AN ITALIAN CORPORATION You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You decide to have lunch. A SWISS CORPORATION You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you. You charge the owners for storing them. A CHINESE CORPORATION You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity. You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation. AN INDIAN CORPORATION You have two cows. You worship them. A BRITISH CORPORATION You have two cows. Both are mad. AN IRAQI CORPORATION Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. You tell them that you have none. No-one believes you, so they bomb the ** out of you and invade your country. You still have no cows, but at least you are now a Democracy. AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION You have two cows. Business seems pretty good. You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate. A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION You have two cows. The one on the left looks very attractive.
Tyll Hertsens Posted December 1, 2011 Report Posted December 1, 2011 That Knucks ... he's so high brow. Gotta bring it down a notch. Okay, this is cute.
Knuckledragger Posted December 1, 2011 Author Report Posted December 1, 2011 Lowbrow, huh? New Mexico Attorney General Warns Against the Molesty Charms of Pedobear
Knuckledragger Posted December 1, 2011 Author Report Posted December 1, 2011 I can already see Terraria is going to cut into me getting any more work done today. It might Slow down the Forum too...
bhjazz Posted December 1, 2011 Report Posted December 1, 2011 PimpMyBuilding: "...I put some cranes on your cranes so you can put some building on your building!"
Knuckledragger Posted December 1, 2011 Author Report Posted December 1, 2011 This is probably NSFW if you study it closely.
archosman Posted December 2, 2011 Report Posted December 2, 2011 Locomotive blew a cylinder out in Independence, LA.
Knuckledragger Posted December 2, 2011 Author Report Posted December 2, 2011 I meant to post this when we were on the subject of movie posters. Matthew McConaughey Cannot Stand Up By Himself.
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