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Posted

Wife’s Diary:

Tonight, I thought my husband was acting weird. We had made plans to

meet at a nice restaurant for dinner. I was shopping with my friends all day

long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he

made no comment on it. Conversation wasn't flowing, so I suggested that we

go somewhere quiet so we could talk. He agreed, but he didn't say much. I

asked him what was wrong; He said, 'Nothing.' I asked him if it was my fault

that he was upset. He said he wasn't upset, that it had nothing to do with

me, and not to worry about it. On the way home, I told him that I loved him.

He smiled slightly, and kept driving. I can't explain his behavior I don't

know why he didn't say, 'I love you, too.' When we got home, I felt as if I

had lost him completely, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. He

just sat there quietly, and watched TV. He continued to seem distant and

absent. Finally, with silence all around us, I decided to go to bed. About

15 minutes later, he came to bed. But I still felt that he was distracted,

and his thoughts were somewhere else. He fell asleep - I cried. I don't know

what to do. I'm almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else. My life

is a disaster.

Husband's Diary:

The boat wouldn't start, can't figure it out.

Posted

ITALIAN GRANDMOTHER

An Italian grandmother is giving directions to her grown grandson who is coming to visit with his wife.

"You comma to de front door of the apartmenta. I am inna apartmenta 301

There issa bigga panel at the front door. With you elbow , pusha button 301.

I will buzza you in. Come inside, the elevator is on the right. Get in, and with you elbow, pusha 3.

When you get out, I'ma on the left. With you elbow, hita my doorbell."

"Grandma, that sounds easy, but why am I hitting all these buttons with my elbow?

"What ? --You comin'a empty handed?"

ITALIAN GRANDFATHER

Why Italian Fathers and Grandfathers pass their handguns down through the family?

An old Italian man is dying. He calls his grandson to his bedside, Guido, I wan' you lissina me.

I wan' you to take-a my chrome plated .38 revolver so you will always remember me."

"But grandpa, I really don't like guns. How about you leave me your Rolex watch instead?"

"You lissina me, boy. Somma day you gonna be runna da business, you gonna have a beautiful wife, lotsa money, a big-a home and maybe a whola lot of bambinos."

"Somma day you gonna come-a home and maybe finda you wife inna bed with another man. "Whatta you gonna do then? Pointa to you watch and say, 'times up' "?

Posted

I can really identify with the air hockey thing. It was most popular right about the time I was in 7th and 8th grade when you really didn't have an extra 50 cents to spare!

Posted

Air hockey at the st Andrews student union was 50p a game but the table was always dead because every time they fixed it the first people to use it managed to spill 2 pints of lager onto it, then once the air stops...

Other quirks of the games room included very very slow felt on the pool tables. For a similar beer related reason.

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