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Knuckledragger

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Something from my Hotel room's honor bar.

A Hotel Zaza Mobile Intimacy Kit.

2 Condoms, a Vibrator and Lube in a nice little zippered canvas case.

zaza.jpg

zaza2.jpg

Why don't all Hotels have these fancy little cases?

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The Nerdcore battle a few pages back reminded me of a favorite nerdy rapper of mine from the past -- MC Paul Barman.

He has all of the nerdy rapper boxes ticked beautifully (White, Ivy Educated, , but he also has something I think is important in legitimate music -- he can be listened to without irony. In fact, he seems to take himself pretty seriously. He's also just beyond filthy, for those of you that go in for such a thing.

Here, enjoy a selection. The audio is VERY NSFW, but the video is fine if you have headphones.

AUDIO NSFW

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XxOU11HkEZE&feature=related

Lyrics:

It's the last days, Jocks think pussies are ash trays

And artsy-farts have more baggage than Samsonite

Those ancient Hamptonites, they're always like, "I can't tonight"

And men who are too beautiful are too dutiful with their cuticles

Plus it's like conversasion with a carpeted cubicle

I was eating food when a dude pseudo-suitable said,

"My rap talk's the back drop from laptop to blacktop

You certainly appear to be mightily stacked up

My iconoclastic rap schtick gets my jimmy waxed like Chapstick

I think LL Cool J and Canibus are BOTH fantastic.

So-called experts can't see how the text works

So they comb through the textures of italicized excerpts

Believe me, it SUCKS 

Acting impressed, plus the whole time he rhymed he stared at my breasts

At best he was neither ugly nor dumb

I guessed I'd rearrange the boredom

And make it into bedroom, I said, "Let's go Max like Headroom"

We brought the ruckus like Red Grooms

On the couch where we made out with my hand on his paunch

He invited me to march in the Million Sperm Launch

The fun talk stopped when we heard the front door unlock

His dad made such a grand entrance, 

dude, you'd think we'd need sunblock

At long last he walked past and let out a calm blast of bombast

Before he could set down he briefcase, I said, 

"You're a queef-face. Go back to Boston"


Chorus: (fast over rock hard guitars)

When I want some, I get some

I'll wade through the flotsam and jetsam

Til I've met some smart hotties and caught 'em

My parents named me Autumn

But now I'm frickin' awesome


Verse 2:

Next I took the Express to 86th and Lex

Flexed my Metrocard back in my wallet and

Walked to the Metropolitan, The Great Hall 

Had hundreds of boys straight out of "Eightball", wait, Paul

Barman was posted at his station

He said, "For students there's a $5 suggested donation"

Our eyes met 

It's nice to be hypnotized by a man you don't despise yet

He had a type of flow and I can't quite label it

All I know it made me want to take off my cableknit sweater, Oh he better be hetero

I hope they don't catch us in the Lila Acheson

Wallace Wing when Paulus brings the mattress in--rudely

He backlashed my booty

like I was Susan Faludi over the Grace Rainey Rogers Room rostrum


Chorus: 

When I want some, I get some

If I'm lost in the flotsam and jetsam

I'll draw some

Lacoste alligators chasing an opossum.....

But now- I'm frigging awesome

When I want some, I get some

If I'm lost in the flotsam and jetsam

I'll draw some

Lacoste alligators chasing an opossum.....

I'm frickin' awesome

Edited by Sherwood
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The Nerdcore battle a few pages back reminded me of a favorite nerdy rapper of mine from the past -- MC Paul Barman.

He has all of the nerdy rapper boxes ticked beautifully (White, Ivy Educated, , but he also has something I think is important in legitimate music -- he can be listened to without irony. In fact, he seems to take himself pretty seriously. He's also just beyond filthy, for those of you that go in for such a thing.

<snip ... </snip> this fucking made my day. I has a new hero.

Edited by agile_one
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