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Monster on the prowl again.


Tyll Hertsens

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I wonder if Monster gives every pro athlete in the country a free pair of Beats. I would actually admire that in a way, I suppose. At dinner tonight I was treated to about two minutes of Dwight Howard in close up, wearing his Dr Dres. (Which begs the question of how far into an Orwellian rabbit hole have we fallen that there are TVs glaring at you in otherwise delightful restuarants and what the bloody hell was a Magic game doing on the tube in South Florida, but those are rants for another day.)

Then, when we thought it couldn't get an worse, we have this:

Fake Beats By Dr. Dre Studio Headphones.

That's like counterfieting a can of Spam.

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Assuming - and I have trouble believing otherwise - that the plastic parts were custom designed by Monster. That would mean that these guys would have to buy tooling. With lower volumes than the real manufacturer and thus higher per-unit costs, that wouldn't look like a stellar return on criminal investment.

Maybe these are coming out the back door of the same sweatshop that makes the real ones?

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Assuming - and I have trouble believing otherwise - that the plastic parts were custom designed by Monster. That would mean that these guys would have to buy tooling. With lower volumes than the real manufacturer and thus higher per-unit costs, that wouldn't look like a stellar return on criminal investment.

Maybe these are coming out the back door of the same sweatshop that makes the real ones?

it's possible. i found a website that shows how to tell real vs. fake. it's all about small differences in artwork on the box, documentation that is/isn't included. absolutely nothing about whats inside the headphones

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I'd love for somebody to blow the whistle on how it's done. It just seems so weird. I have a Samsung WEP-200 Bluetooth mobilephone headset. When I was looking for it on the web there was a whole lot of traffic about avoiding counterfeits. At the end of the day, I bought a real one from Amazon. For somewhere in the neighborhood of 27 or 28 bucks. How on earth could anybody counterfeit a product like that for $28? Maybe mine was stolen or black market or something, but I kind of doubt it because that's been the going price ever since. On the other hand, at the beginning of its life cycle, the MSRP was about $100. I think the price was at that level for about ten minutes. So maybe if they can stay at their intended price points, the margin on some of these products is such a gouge that anything's possible. Hmmm. An 80 point margin could actually explain a lot about the product in question, now that I think about it.....

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it's possible. i found a website that shows how to tell real vs. fake. it's all about small differences in artwork on the box, documentation that is/isn't included. absolutely nothing about whats inside the headphones

Which begs the question and probably means the difference between the real Dr. Dres and the fake Dr. Dres is in the authentic/quality of the packaging itself; the parts in the authorized versions are so cheap there is no need to copy them, just use the same parts in the counterfits.....works for me.

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Which begs the question and probably means the difference between the real Dr. Dres and the fake Dr. Dres is in the authentic/quality of the packaging itself; the parts in the authorized versions are so cheap there is no need to copy them, just use the same parts in the counterfits.....works for me.

Or the fakes could use better generic parts, not that I think the counterfeiters would care much. Sometimes you need a big order to get the real schlock. I doubt anything is custom except those plastic shells.

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Mere parts are irrelevant. The entire point of these headphones is that they are made special, nay, transcendent, through their blessing by Dr. Dre. Only headphones sold though authorized channels bear the Dr.'s own authentic blessing. Copies, if they are ever even blessed at all, are given only a cost-saving perfunctory blessing by some underpaid shift worker at a factory.

Sensitive buyers will easily be able to detect the difference in blessing quality between the Dr.'s headphones and any other. Others will simply have to be guided by those better-bred souls who have felt the stirrings in their loins left by the Dr.'s touch* upon their headphones, and have fallen to their knees in marvel and rapture at it.**

Those who cannot feel the blessing must therefore choose their road: be guided by Faith, and pony up accordingly, or suffer the soul-deadening nihilism of buying lesser-blessed headphones for "parts," "construction," "value for money," and "sound" alone.

*or that of his duly-appointed and contractually-designated representative.

**and, because they are generous and sharing individuals, have posted and tweeted their positive reviews accordingly.

Note: nothing in this satirical post is to be construed as being in any way derogatory of our own Mr. Blessing, who is in an altogether higher league of blessings than those others mentioned herein.

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Mere parts are irrelevant. The entire point of these headphones is that they are made special, nay, transcendent, through their blessing by Dr. Dre. Only headphones sold though authorized channels bear the Dr.'s own authentic blessing. Copies, if they are ever even blessed at all, are given only a cost-saving perfunctory blessing by some underpaid shift worker at a factory.

Sensitive buyers will easily be able to detect the difference in blessing quality between the Dr.'s headphones and any other. Others will simply have to be guided by those better-bred souls who have felt the stirrings in their loins left by the Dr.'s touch* upon their headphones, and have fallen to their knees in marvel and rapture at it.**

Those who cannot feel the blessing must therefore choose their road: be guided by Faith, and pony up accordingly, or suffer the soul-deadening nihilism of buying lesser-blessed headphones for "parts," "construction," "value for money," and "sound" alone.

*or that of his duly-appointed and contractually-designated representative.

**and, because they are generous and sharing individuals, have posted and tweeted their positive reviews accordingly.

Note: nothing in this satirical post is to be construed as being in any way derogatory of our own Mr. Blessing, who is in an altogether higher league of blessings than those others mentioned herein.

Let us not forget "looks".

The fake Rolex syndrome factors in here as well.

"You gotto look good too" - so keep rockin those fake Beats yo! :palm:

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