Vicki...The only Queen at CanJam?

[Fitz]

I think Dan's on to something here.

[jvlgato]

Would a pole, sorry ... poll be appropriate here?

[Dusty Chalk]

No. People seem to think they have a say in the matter -- a poll would only reinforce that misconception.

[Voltron]

Another thought:

Wood. It's what's for dinner.

Or, playing off Curra's idea:

Got Wood? If so, call me.

[blessingx]

Lumber Liquidator

[grawk]

Lumber Lubricator?

[boomana]

No. People seem to think they have a say in the matter -- a poll would only reinforce that misconception.

I think you missed the joke.

[mypasswordis]

Where's AdamCalifornia when you need him?

[Knuckledragger]

Where's AdamCalifornia when you need him?

I crushed his head between my GLite and DPS.

[MASantos]

I just noticed this thread. Congrats gents for having the courage to announce this so openly, I was amazed this wasn't posted in the Casino, this community is indeed something special!

[swt61]

It could have been in the Casino, but the purpose was to reach as many as possible, in hopes that it may help at least one member dealing with the same issue.

I'd also like to clarify that I've been out to friends and family since my very early twenties, and I'm very comfortable with who I am. Unfortunately I'm not always comfortable with who others think I should be.

This group has never made me feel uncomfortable in any way, and after meeting so many of you face to face I think it's a good way to build on the great friendships I've already developed with you.

Immediately after coming out to my Mother, I think I pushed pretty hard and made her uncomfortable at times. I told her pretty much every detail of my life. The thing is my family is pretty close knit. My Brothers and my Sister were able to discuss their marriages and personal issues with my Mom. I've always been very close to her and sometimes felt very left out in that regard. The last person I wanted to have an esoteric relationship with was my Mother. Later she told me how much she appreciated my honesty and openness with her, even though it did make her uncomfortable at times. I can tell my Mother absolutely anything today, and enjoy a very real and strong bond with her.

I may push those boundaries from time to time, but I'll try to keep that at a minimum. I have some very real friends in many of you and I don't want those friendships to be surface only. I hope that makes sense.

[boomana]

Steve, we're all expert boundary pushers here, and pretty good at finding center again, at least with each other. You're okay, and definitely among friends.

[Dusty Chalk]

Can I ask you a really difficult question, Steve? Why didn't you come out at CanJam? Did you want to, but didn't, or was the plan all along not to, and you didn't feel comfortable until you had a chance to digest the events, or whut?

EDIT: And, "I don't know" is a perfectly legitimate answer.

Edited June 12, 2010 by Dusty Chalk

[recstar24]

Sometimes it's good to push ones boundaries or to push the boundaries of others. Amongst true friends I have found that is how you change and learn for the better.

The first time anyone ever came out to me, and my first real interaction with someone who was gay, I was a sophomore in high school, on a choir retreat with my chamber singers group. There were two senior guys I was sharing a room with, they were amazing musicians and I looked up to them as role models and they were just great guys to sing with. We were getting ready for bed and having some deep conversations, but then they came out to me and told me they were gay. I was very silent and ended up leaving the room to hang out with others in the common area as I became very uncomfortable. I started thinking and realized what truly happened, that these guys trusted me with something very special. And that I should appreciate it, as well as understand the sexual orientation did not change my view of them as awesome role models and guys to hang out and sing with. I went back into the room and apologized, and they said they understood, they were hesitant to tell me at first because the normal group of friends I hung out with were the type that wouldn't be so open and affirming, but felt like they could trust me, and I am glad they did, as I am truly a better person because of it.

[swt61]

Can I ask you a really difficult question, Steve? Why didn't you come out at CanJam? Did you want to, but didn't, or was the plan all along not to, and you didn't feel comfortable until you had a chance to digest the events, or whut?

Sometimes we as people can flavor our opinions of others with preconceived ideas, without realizing that we're doing so. I'll be the first to admit that many times my first impressions of people are 180 degrees off. I'm not the kind of gay person that is immediately obvious to others (or at least I don't see myself that way), so I wanted to have people get to know me and judge me as a person from the interactions we had, without the possibility of that subconscious flavoring. That's because I want people to understand that gay men come in all shapes and sizes and personalities. Just like penises

Also Ryan and I had talked about when might be best time to do so, and he graciously accommodated me in that regard.

Not to mention that I did not want to derail an event that was about something else. I'm not as much of a 'look at me' person as I pretend to be. If I'm wrong about that feel free to educate me.

[swt61]

Sometimes it's good to push ones boundaries or to push the boundaries of others. Amongst true friends I have found that is how you change and learn for the better.

The first time anyone ever came out to me, and my first real interaction with someone who was gay, I was a sophomore in high school, on a choir retreat with my chamber singers group. There were two senior guys I was sharing a room with, they were amazing musicians and I looked up to them as role models and they were just great guys to sing with. We were getting ready for bed and having some deep conversations, but then they came out to me and told me they were gay. I was very silent and ended up leaving the room to hang out with others in the common area as I became very uncomfortable. I started thinking and realized what truly happened, that these guys trusted me with something very special. And that I should appreciate it, as well as understand the sexual orientation did not change my view of them as awesome role models and guys to hang out and sing with. I went back into the room and apologized, and they said they understood, they were hesitant to tell me at first because the normal group of friends I hung out with were the type that wouldn't be so open and affirming, but felt like they could trust me, and I am glad they did, as I am truly a better person because of it.

I love that story Ryan, especially your honesty.

[Fitz]

Sometimes we as people can flavor our opinions of others with preconceived ideas, without realizing that we're doing so. I'll be the first to admit that many times my first impressions of people are 180 degrees off. I'm not the kind of gay person that is immediately obvious to others (or at least I don't see myself that way), so I wanted to have people get to know me and judge me as a person from the interactions we had, without the possibility of that subconscious flavoring. That's because I want people to understand that gay men come in all shapes and sizes and personalities. Just like penises

Also Ryan and I had talked about when might be best time to do so, and he graciously accommodated me in that regard.

Not to mention that I did not want to derail an event that was about something else. I'm not as much of a 'look at me' person as I pretend to be. If I'm wrong about that feel free to educate me.

For the sake of clarity, it's probably best for people to just refer to me as Fitz in this thread.

[swt61]

For the sake of clarity, it's probably best for people to just refer to me as Fitz in this thread.

Uhm yeah, Ryan as in Fitz.

Fitz is a close friend (and especially now) and I like to call my good friends by there given name, as I feel that's more personal, but I should just say Fitz for clarity sake.

[guzziguy]

[snip]

Unfortunately I'm not always comfortable with who others think I should be.

I think you should be coming to more CanJams and other meets, and you better damn well do it!

[Augsburger]

i think that you should provide us with some of the seafood you were talking about at that shitty restaurant we went to for lunch.

That was the one the concierge recommended as having "really good food and beer". He must moonlight as a Stereophile reviewer.

[guzziguy]

My food was OK. The problem was with the beer at this "microbrewery". It was just plain bad. It suffered even more in comparison to the FFF beer we'd drunk the day before.

[shellylh]

My beer was so good I think I finished about a 1/5th of the pint.

[guzziguy]

It's a dirty job, but somebody has to do it.

[Dusty Chalk]

So...why are you announcing it? Forewarned is forearmed, and all that. Are you that evil (and cocky confident), that you feel you can announce it, and still not be rendered useless by some sort of magical defense?

Here's the thing: idiocy and slack...er...whatever the "state" form of 'slacker' is -- they are both contributing to the general decline of the human population, I.E. evil-ness, of the natural variety. They don't even have to organize, because of the second law of thermodynamics -- the very nature of idiocy and slackness (hey!) contributes to the total entropy of the socio-ecosystem.

[Tyll Hertsens]

Slackage.

It's bait and switch Dusty, he's holding the chaos and confusion cards close to his vest.

Don't let him keep talking with you; he's sowing the seeds of entropy.

La la la la la la la la la la.