I strongly disagree with the mexican and yelled at him loudly when he dared to insult the Britt's donut I so gladly paid for after taking Dinny to the airport. I have eaten many a Krispy Kreme doughnut in my life, and the problem is that they are indeed not very krispy. I have also had my grandmother's homemade doughnut, which was much more similar in texture to the Britt's variety. The wonderful crunchy parts mixed with the only slightly chewy bits all pointed to the perfect handmade doughnut that a corporate chain could never make a profit from. Brent also sought chocolate covered doughnuts with sprinkles, to which I say: Grow up retard. The Britt's doughnut was my best memory of Kure Beach NC, and you should all know by now that I'm a very sentimental person.

When I write a review, you are to worship and adore me for my efforts and agree with all of my conclusions. If I want your opinion, I'll give it to you.

That was a review? I saw it more as a spattering of drunken drivel. As someone who's opinion may or may not be respected I thought people should have a second opinion as to be able to make up their minds concretely and conclusively about things they've never heard tasted.

To put it in perspective, this review came from a man who ordered a salad and a pizza at a seafood joint...

**BRENT**

I strongly disagree with the mexican and yelled at him loudly when he dared to insult the Britt's donut I so gladly paid for after taking Dinny to the airport. I have eaten many a Krispy Kreme doughnut in my life, and the problem is that they are indeed not very krispy. I have also had my grandmother's homemade doughnut, which was much more similar in texture to the Britt's variety. The wonderful crunchy parts mixed with the only slightly chewy bits all pointed to the perfect handmade doughnut that a corporate chain could never make a profit from. Brent also sought chocolate covered doughnuts with sprinkles, to which I say: Grow up retard. The Britt's doughnut was my best memory of Kure Beach NC, and you should all know by now that I'm a very sentimental person.

Your MOM is heavy...

**BRENT**

He paddles that shit back to shore, Dinny.

Shore? Hell that's the aquarium in his living room!

W: "And which shark might I interest you in, sir?"

C: "hmmm... that one. Over by that rocky outcropping"

W: "The one biting that Chevy Impala in twain?"

C: "That one"

W: "Very good choice, sir -- we'll have it right up"

"...twain..."

Your MOM is heavy...

**BRENT**

Well this line had to be worked in somewhere, didn't it?

Well this line had to be worked in somewhere, didn't it?

She ain't heavy, she's my Mother. (waits to see how many get that reference)

Hint: Burt Bacharach

For your hint, shouldn't it be Bobby Scott and Bob Russell?

A more obvious hint: The Hollies

For your hint, shouldn't it be Bobby Scott and Bob Russell?

A more obvious hint: The Hollies

SOB! You're right! All this time I thought the tune was actually penned by the Burtmeister.

Now I have to dig into my collection to find out what caused such an embarrasing mistake.

To put it in perspective, this review came from a man who ordered a salad and a pizza at a seafood joint...

**BRENT**

Duh! He lives on an island.

I wonder if these donuts taste different if he holds them with his left hand or both hands.

The only way I could restrain myself from grabbing more donuts was to keep my hand in my pocket since I am an ambidextrous donut eater.

I don't even need to use either hand if I'm hungry and there are donuts in the vicinity.

the left is his wiping hand

Nah, I have people who do that for me.

SOB! You're right! All this time I thought the tune was actually penned by the Burtmeister.

Now I have to dig into my collection to find out what caused such an embarrasing mistake.