Screwed Over By Girlfriend...

[xand1x]

Hey guys, I usually try not to get too personal on forums but I figured here would be the best place to post anything because I do have a ton of respect for the members on this forum. I just wanted to say that after a year of dating my gf I was recently given the boot for the following reason: "people change and I don't think its going to work out." I sort of saw this coming months ahead of time but wanted to say that I have a better understanding for what others on the forum have gone through or are going through when relationships end badly [i hope I am not out of context but..Philodox and Edipisreks come to mind] and that you can welcome me to the club!

I guess what i've learned from everything is how easily you can become attached to someone and after its taken away from you it feels like a part of you is missing. Another thing i've learned is that whisky truly does heal all pain

[humanflyz]

Hey dude, I know just how you feel. My girlfriend and I decided to split up, because we both graduated, and there was no way we could stay together because of distance. So even though it's amicable, the separation still hurts like a motherfucker. I totally understand what you are saying when you say that a part of you is missing. So hang in there.

[Jon L]

Good death metal music really helps... A couple months time works even better

[grawk]

Hey dude, I feel for you. Trust me when I tell you it's better that it ends when one of you is first feeling like it's over. Dragging it out makes it worse.

You're young, there are other white girls in toronto who like dark meat, you'll do fine.

[hYdrociTy]

Capacitors never leave you. You can stay with one till it's burned in, or you can swap caps all night long.

[mulveling]

Yep, know kinda how ya feel. It's probably going to hurt like hell for a while BUT you can take steps to gain valuable experience, self growth, and even confidence from this. Time always heals these kinds of wounds, so know that it will get better not matter how dark it seems now. Use this time to start re-discovering yourself as an individual, and potentially exploring what you would like to be. I turned to booze the first few times too, and that can be ok, but last couple years the method I've used has been vigorous self improvement - diet, exercise, actively working on my appearance, etc. I sometimes get out of shape in relationships tho (typically the ones I know aren't going to work out in the end - ugh) so by the end I'm pretty hungry to take care of myself again. It works GREAT!

You're young and should have a long, great life in front of you! Best wishes!!!

[hungrych]

Man, and on your birthday too! That sucks.

[Smeggy]

Yeah, no two ways about it, girlfriends can really suck, until you want them to, then they suck even more! :'(

Get a dog.

[riceboy]

Sorry to hear about you and your GF. I remembered dating someone for almost 3 years and that ended. It hurt like a bitch for a while. I started to become more independent and finding out who I was as a person too . Then I met someone who I thought I would marry, but then because of the distance she called it off and that was about 2 years in the relationship. That one hurt more than the other separation and I was really lost for a while. It did feel like a part of me was missing. But as Dusty mentioned that it's good it didn't drag on. I've learned that dragging on a relationship turns out worst in the long run.

To continue, then a couple of years later I met my future wife. The best part about that is I wasn't really looking for someone. Doesn't it always happen that way? Any way we've been together for almost 8 years and been married almost 3. I swear I've never been happier. As others have said it will hurt and you'll have to go through some stages of losing someone in a relationship, but as others mentioned you're young and have your whole life ahead of you. I wish you the very best and I'll have a drink for you too.

[riceboy]

same thing happened to me, though it took me another three years to really get over her, and i really haven't found the right person since.

Well Reks I hope you find the right person one day. Three years to get over her

That is a long time. I swear I went through a lot of soul searching during those times and the beach was my friend for a while Never thought about those times for a while, but just thinking about it makes me remember how sad I was then.

I wish you the best as well Reks . I'll have a drink for you too my friend. Damn, if this keeps up I'll be drunk before the night ends

[riceboy]

feel free to use me as an excuse for whatever amount of drinking you want to do

three years was a long time. i dated during it, but my heart was in it. then, one day, i just woke up and i was completely over her.

Thanks for my drinking excuse :hiccup:

I don't remember if I woke up one day and I was completely over her, but I remembered having some self realization that basically went like this, "Why am I hung up on this one person? It's been over, and I'm fine". I sure started listening to more music back then as well. I remembered listening to some lame ballad stuff too

[riceboy]

that was the period that i got into elvis costello.

I like Elvis Costello. I swear I went through weird music phases during those times. But I did start to listen to Jazz and more vocal Jazz during that time. I also build my CD collection a bunch too as music was my solitude and sanctuaray. It reminds me of the song "In My Room" by the Beach Boys. The room was my music

In My Room

There's a world where I can go

and tell my secrets to

In my room

In my room

In this world I lock out

all my worries and my fears

In my room

In my room

Do my dreaming and my scheming lie awake and pray

Do my crying and my sighing laugh at yesterday

Now it's dark and I'm alone

but I won't be afraid

In my room

In my room

[riceboy]

this thread has gotten awfully maudlin

Yeah it has.

[mulveling]

I've used The Smiths in the past. Great band Some Morrissey can be good too, but doesn't have the lasting power of The Smiths albums for me.

xand1x should get The Queen is Dead stat!

[postjack]

I try to love deeply with no attachments. Is it possible to achieve this state? I don't know.

Before this past December I was coming off 2.5 years out of a super fucked up relationship. Reality is perfect, because apparently I just needed that time. Then, once I decided I didn't need someone else to make me happy, I met someone else (Laine is right, thats the way it always works). She's a wonderful girl I've been seeing for some months now. She's crazy, but just fun crazy like I am, not insane like the ex (or like I was when I was dating my ex).

Anywho, PJ and Headcase loves you X, so I hope that helps carry you through.

[swt61]

I'd give you advice, but I'm 47 and single so...

[tiberian]

Hey guys, I usually try not to get too personal on forums but I figured here would be the best place to post anything because I do have a ton of respect for the members on this forum. I just wanted to say that after a year of dating my gf I was recently given the boot for the following reason: "people change and I don't think its going to work out." I sort of saw this coming months ahead of time but wanted to say that I have a better understanding for what others on the forum have gone through or are going through when relationships end badly [i hope I am not out of context but..Philodox and Edipisreks come to mind] and that you can welcome me to the club!

I guess what i've learned from everything is how easily you can become attached to someone and after its taken away from you it feels like a part of you is missing. Another thing i've learned is that whisky truly does heal all pain

i'm glad to know that you're enjoying your whiskey

[xand1x]

Yep, know kinda how ya feel. It's probably going to hurt like hell for a while BUT you can take steps to gain valuable experience, self growth, and even confidence from this. Time always heals these kinds of wounds, so know that it will get better not matter how dark it seems now. Use this time to start re-discovering yourself as an individual, and potentially exploring what you would like to be. I turned to booze the first few times too, and that can be ok, but last couple years the method I've used has been vigorous self improvement - diet, exercise, actively working on my appearance, etc. I sometimes get out of shape in relationships tho (typically the ones I know aren't going to work out in the end - ugh) so by the end I'm pretty hungry to take care of myself again. It works GREAT!

You're young and should have a long, great life in front of you! Best wishes!!!

Yeah this is actually quite true. As a single guy I was always trying to improve myself (went to the gym, studied hard, etc). When I was in a relationship the only thing I did was study and everything else got put on the back burner. I think i'm going to re-join my school gym and comit myself to that. I also have summer school so between those two I should have lots to keep me occupied.

Thanks everyone else for your advice and understanding, I really appreciate it!

[JBLoudG20]

X gon give it to the world.

Man, call me if you want to talk. Or text. All Day. While I'm at work.

[philodox]

Hey Matt,

Didn't notice this thread until now. I hope you're doing alright... I know how hard something like this can be. Are you still in TO? When you feel up to it we should go trolling the bars for hoes.

[LFF]

You're young, there are other white girls in toronto who like dark meat, you'll do fine.

LOL!!!!!

[swt61]

All good advice, but nobody's mentioned the obvious...if you went bi you'd have double the chances of meeting someone.

Come to think of it philodox is single now, and he's already offered to go trolling the bars with you.

[JBLoudG20]

All good advice, but nobody's mentioned the obvious...if you went bi you'd have double the chances of meeting someone.

Come to think of it philodox is single now, and he's already offered to go trolling the bars with you.

Speaking of, where are pics of KLPG?

[Augsburger]

Well if you insist..........

[philodox]

where are pics of KLPG?

Not even I am that stupid.