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Posted

Setting your password:


Sorry that password has expired- you must register a new one.


Did anyone discover that password and hack my computer?


No, but your password has expired- you must get a new one.


Why then do I need a new one as that one seems to be working

pretty good?


Well, you must get a new one as they automatically expire

every 30 days.


Can I use the old one and just re-register it?


No, you must get a new one.


I don't want a new one as that is one more thing for me to

remember.


Sorry, you must get a new one.


OK, roses.


Sorry you must use more letters.


OK, pretty roses


No good, you must use at least one numerical space.


OK, 1 pretty rose


Sorry, you cannot use blank spaces.


OK, 1prettyrose


Sorry, you must use additional spaces.


OK, 1fuckingprettyrose



Sorry, you must use at least one capital letter.


OK, 1FUCKINGprettyrose


Sorry, you cannot use more than one capital letter in a row.


OK,  1FUCKINGprettyroseshovedupyourassifyoudon'tgivemeaccess

Rightfuckingnow


Sorry, you cannot use that password as it is already being

used

 
Posted

ALERTS TO THREATS
IN 2013 EUROPE

From JOHN CLEESE

The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent events in Syria and have therefore raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross." The English have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies nearly ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to "A Bloody Nuisance." The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was in 1588, when threatened by the Spanish Armada.

The Scots have raised their threat level from "Pissed Off" to "Let's get the Bastards." They don't have any other levels. This is the reason they have been used on the front line of the British army for the last 300 years.

The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide." The only two higher levels in France are "Collaborate" and "Surrender." The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France 's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country's military capability.

Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout Loudly and Excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides."

The Germans have increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbour" and "Lose."

Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual; the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels ..

The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.

Australia, meanwhile, has raised its security level from "No worries" to "She'll be right, Mate." Two more escalation levels remain: "Crikey! I think we'll need to cancel the barbie this weekend!" and "The barbie is cancelled." So far no situation has ever warranted use of the last final escalation level.

Regards,
John Cleese ,
British writer, actor and tall person

And as a final thought - Greece is collapsing, the Iranians are getting aggressive, and Rome is in disarray. Welcome back to 430 BC.

Life is too short...

Posted

This was posted by Left Hand with the caption, "Best. Smelling. Van. Ever."

1238770_10152007736675116_110818755_n.jp

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BxB2Lb-4dQM

It's like Edgar Wright did the sound effects.  And at the other end of the spectrum:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q64hTNEj6KQ

"Wait, 40%?  That's actually quite a lot."

Posted

This dude has escaped prison here in Grand Cayman six times!  But there is nowhere to go, so eventually they catch him again.  Not exactly as harmless as Otis from Mayberry.  He killed one prison officer by banging him over the head with a toilet seat about 20 times several years ago, and didn't even manage to escape that day.  He's a pretty bad dude, and I'm just thankful that I live way on the other side of the Island, nowhere near the prison.

http://www.cayman27.com.ky/2013/08/28/steve-manderson-back-behind-bars?utm_source=dlvr.it&utm_medium=facebook

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