Remember when...

[swt61]

Remember when the first car that drove by would stop to help, if you were broke down?

 

On my way home from work yesterday, I saw an elderly woman standing by her car on the side of the road. I almost drove right past, but something said stop. Upon asking, it seemed she had a flat tire. She didn't exactly seem thrilled that I had stopped, not at first anyway. But once I offered to change the tire for her, she seemed to warm. Turns out her spare was also flat. So I suggested we take both to a near by tire shop. Once there the fix was easy, inexpensive and quick. On the way back she admitted to me that at first she wondered if I was up to no good, and had been wary of my real motive. I told her I completely understood, but how sad is that? Not everything about the "Old Days" was good, but I sure miss the good deeds.

 

I learned about doing good deeds from my Parents and from Cub/Boy Scouts. Do kids learn about good deeds today? The woman (Beverly) offered me $20.00, and was almost miffed at my refusal to take it. Until I explained that not only would my Mother be appalled, but that the kindness is and should be it's own reward. I could tell by the glint in her eye that she was thrilled that "her era" was not completely gone. As for me...I've strangely been on cloud nine since. I often struggle at being the person I aspire to be, but today I feel good.

 

Teach your kids about the value of good deeds. As they are not just one sided affairs.

 

Off to save the world, one flat at a time.  

 

 

[shellylh]

You're a good guy Steve, but we already knew that. I have to say that I wouldn't get in a car with someone I didn't know though. People also may be afraid to stop and help someone, thinking that it might be a setup.

[swt61]

I'm not always a good guy though. My first thought was that I didn't want to be bothered. Then it was "she's probably fine". But those niggling questions pop up fast ... Is she having a medical emergency? Is she lost? What if that was my Mom?

 

I know that it's a different world today, but does it have to be?

[jpelg]

Good on you, Steve.

 

The "what if that was my Mom?" question is a good check on our behaviours, and one I use a lot lately.

[grawk]

That was one of my favorite things about alaska. If you were on the side of the road, someone would almost immediately pull over.

[jvlgato]

That's really great, Steve. 

 

I try to go out of my way to open doors and give directions to those who appear lost in the hospital or around town. I've given jumper car starts to people several times.

 

To be honest, there's a part of ME that is a bit afraid to stop to help because I'm afraid someone will jump out of their car or pull up behind them, and rob/injury me. I won't get out of the car if the person is in a secluded area, but I'll call for help. Yes, it's a shame that people (I) feel this way. Maybe I'm paraniod, or it's part of big city life. But I read so many stories about this kind of set up to rip people off.

 

I signed Daniel up for Cub Scouts last year, at his request, and he's really liked it. (I had no interest in this when I was a kid.) We still read chapters about honor to God and parents, doing good deeds, safety with handling knives, getting achievement badges for taking care of the earth and learning to ride a bicycle and such. It feels a little anachronistic as I read these with him, and I always feel the need to add in stuff like, 'but don't do this if you are alone without a parent', or 'be sure not to go off alone with anyone, even if you know them, unless one of us knows about it'. Or about marriage, that 'sometimes there are couples who are the same gender. ' (I'm sure the Scouts love that I say this!)

 

But I like the general idea behind Scouts, so it's overall still a good thing, I think.

[acidbasement]

Good on ya, Steve.  A few years ago in Winnipeg, I gave an elderly lady a push (her car, that is), up an icy incline to her parking spot.  She offered me money, which I refused.

 

Rural areas still tend to be pretty good in the "good old days" regard.  Where I live now (same place I grew up), if you drive your car into the ditch, you usually walk till you find a farmer with a tractor rather than calling for a tow truck.  People with flat tires at the roadside are offered help, and the local bearded, dirty, crazy (or maybe he's a legit prophet) guy who has no car has absolutely no trouble hitchhiking wherever he needs to go.

[aardvark baguette]

The other side of the coin:

 

A month or so ago I saw a kid I didn't recognize standing out in the rain, cold.  She kept looking at me as I got out of my car and walked into my house.  A look of 'what do i do now?' on her face.

It was off-putting.  I wondered if she was lost.

 

I was about to walk back outside and offer her my phone to call her parents when I realized how that would look.  A single guy who keeps to himself inviting a little girl into his house.

Thank god I came to my senses. 

 

I checked back on her, but she had left.

Edited May 1, 2013 by aardvark baguette

[Pars]

Way to go Steve! Yeah, I hear ya on the good old days, where ulterior motives weren't the first thing to cross a persons mind in times like this.

[dsavitsk]

Crime is not any higher than it was in the good old days -- probably lower. It is just more publicized. It is sad that our misconceptions lead us to be less good to people, which probably feeds that misconception.

 

Good on you Steve.

 

 I've given jumper car starts to people several times.

 

A few years ago, my wife's coworker need his car jumped. It was January in Chicago. 10 degrees, dark, snowy. They could not find the lever to open the hood on our car. He (the coworker) found a lever and pushed it really hard. When nothing happened, he pushed it even harder and managed to rip the steering wheel tilt lever right off the steering column. Our steering wheel bounced up and down for a month until we paid $1000 to fix it. Repair place said they had never seen such a thing. The coworker never even offered to help and made some lame argument about how it wasn't his fault since it wasn't his car.

[Voltron]

Way to go Steve! Yeah, I hear ya on the good old days, where ulterior motives weren't the first thing to cross a persons mind in times like this.

 

Well said Chris!  I second those emotions.

[jvlgato]

Nice, Doug ... I guess sometimes it's true that no good deed goes unpunished.

Is this the same car you have now? You should pin all current repairs on that guy ...

[Aimless1]

Thanks for posting that Steve.  Good to hear the "good old days" aren't gone.

 

Back in the 1980s I was driving a motor home back from the Kentucky Derby.  Not too far north of Louisville the transmission started going.  I pulled over at the first exit and stopped at a local diner.  Asked who I should call.  Called the guy and he said to meet him down at his shop.  Drove the two blocks and in pulled the owner of the shop in a brand new Lincoln Town Car.  He checked things over, told me he didn't do transmission work but would have it towed to a friend's transmission shop on Monday.  Not safe to drive.  He then asked if we wanted to rent a car.  Yes, we sure would.  After telling us the closest rental was in Louisville he handed the keys to his Lincoln over and told us to put the keys in the mail slot when we dropped it off.  This we did.  As a follow up the transmission guy was great, worked cheaply compared to the shops we knew back home and did a great job. Good guy!

 

Last year driving home from my trailer on a Sunday morning a van was broke down beside the road.  A chubby mother with three young children were standing beside it.  I pulled over.  Offered to let her use my cell phone and then asked if she needed a ride.  Moved car seats from her van to my truck and off we went to her church.  No big deal for me.  A few minutes of my time and a minor detour to take her to church.  Their relief and safety ... priceless.

[Salt Peanuts]

You're a good man, Steve.

 

Reminded me of the time my previous car broke down/started smoking (a critter nest under the hood that I didn't know about caught on fire from the engine heat) and I had to pull over.  Within short order, I had two drivers and a couple who lived on the street with me offering their help.  It was a silver lining to otherwise a crappy afternoon.

Edited May 1, 2013 by Salt Peanuts

[ironbut]

Good on you Steve!

I still think that deep down, most folks would like to be good. Maybe what's changed is what people think "good" is?

Some of my friends won't stop to help anyone particularly when their kids are onboard. So what does that teach the kids?

[swt61]

 Yes, it's a shame that people (I) feel this way. Maybe I'm paraniod, or it's part of big city life. But I read so many stories about this kind of set up to rip people off.

 

Don't misunderstand me, I don't feel that it's a shame we feel frightened about stopping to help someone. I feel that it's a shame that we need to feel frightened to help. And I don't condone anyone putting themselves in any kind of danger. Each situation should be individually assessed, and any doubt should rule out.

 

When I lived in Portland, OR I was driving downtown one night, when I came across a woman with her car hood up. She tried to flag me down, even jumping in front of my car. Something just didn't feel right, and she seemed way to aggressive for a woman surrounded by open businesses, where she couldv'e gone to call for help. I continued down the street and noticed two large guys peeking around the corner. I'm certain that was a robbery setup.

 

Yesterdays situation looked harmless, as I had full view of her car and the surrounding area. So I took a chance.

[swt61]

That was one of my favorite things about alaska. If you were on the side of the road, someone would almost immediately pull over.

 

Exactly how I grew up. I can recall many times that my Mom was helped out of a ditch by a passing motorist. I can also recall Dad gathering us boys after a heavy snow, to go seek out people in need of help. When I left Anchorage in 2001, I ran into more than one individuals who'd pull over, then offer to pull you out for a high price. That pissed me off. But still, for everyone of those there were at least 10 good hearted people willing to help without thought of gain.

[skullguise]

Good on you Steve!

I still think that deep down, most folks would like to be good. Maybe what's changed is what people think "good" is?

Some of my friends won't stop to help anyone particularly when their kids are onboard. So what does that teach the kids?

 

This is a big part of things, we read about the (now more publicized) accounts of bad things happening, so we get nervous.  But I do like to help people in front of my son, so he knows it can be a good thing.

 

I had a similar event a few months ago.  Went in on a chilly morning for some routine blood work, and coming out saw an older woman standing there.  I almost went by her, but stopped and asked if she was waiting for a ride.  She seemed a little nervous but answered she was waiting for a bus but thinks she missed the most recent one.  I offered her a ride to her home (about 90% on the way I was going anyway as it turned out).  Still nervous, so I explained I would understand since I was a stranger, and offered to show her my license and have her call someone on my cell phone to tell who I am.  She agreed (no license or call necessary) and we actually had a nice chat on the way.  I heard a tiny bit of her life in Europe and when she moved to the USA.

 

In any case, I echo the great words above, and thank you Steve...for being you 

[morphsci]

Good job, as usual, Steve.

[Dusty Chalk]

Off to save the world, one flat at a time.

Or in your case, two!

 

And I do believe it is a matter of education.  I helped a guy once when I was a teen -- his tire was deteriorating before our eyes, so I gave him a lift home.  And he was very appreciative, offered to do work on my car in return, but my mom is so paranoid that she actually scolded me for doing so, and I don't think I could do so today.  I feel terrible about it, but it's so ingrained at this point, and happens so rarely, that I'm not sure how to change myself.  I did help a bunch of scary looking dudes with a jump once, they said no-one else would stop for them, so I told them -- they were probably just scared, were they alone?  Yes, but you're alone, too.  Yeah, but I used to hang out with scary looking dudes in the 90's, I'm alright with it. They even tried to pay me, and I just responded with, 'pay it forward'.  So maybe I'm not so bad, but for every one of those, there are probably 3 that I kept going.  I don't know...

[catscratch]

To be honest, there's a part of ME that is a bit afraid to stop to help because I'm afraid someone will jump out of their car or pull up behind them, and rob/injury me. I won't get out of the car if the person is in a secluded area, but I'll call for help. Yes, it's a shame that people (I) feel this way. Maybe I'm paraniod, or it's part of big city life. But I read so many stories about this kind of set up to rip people off.

 

This. I admit I probably would have driven by because of this sort of setup, unless it was absolutely certain that it was impossible. And if you do stop to help, and by accident damage something, will you get sued over it afterwards? And if you don't damage something, will you get sued anyway on some bullshit excuse?

 

I'm paranoid, and it's because I've been messed with too many times. I'm a gullible sucker that has learned his lesson. If the state had concealed carry laws, I'd probably be packing. Not because it offers any kind of protection, but at the very least for the confidence that it would give me, which would probably allow me to do things I want to do with less fear of doing it.

 

I've offered jump starts to people, and the first reaction in them is always fear and suspicion. And if/when you do something nice in the last are I lived in, people actually act surprised that you didn't try to screw them over in some way.

 

It's a pretty sad state of affairs, but then again I lived in a communist country too, and am named after an uncle that spent a decade as a political prisoner. It could be worse.

Edited May 1, 2013 by catscratch