Why don't you just "cut it" with some diced tomatoes? If it's too limey and too spicy, sounds like just what the doctor ordered.
Or throw in something citrus-y -- like perhaps mango.
Oh, and if you're actually considering shipping any -- I'm in. I'll even pay for shipping (mine only, the rest of y'all are on your own), as it'll have to be frozen and then overnighted, I would think (don't know -- 've never shipped food).