So? A modern modern record is probably being done at 24/96 or 24/192, which a CD can't handle. Whereas a record will capture all of it -- so just because it's done in digital, doesn't mean the end result should be digital. I know the pedants over at sh.tv were whining when they found out the record version of Pink Floyd's Echoes compilation was done off the same digital master tapes, but L -- it was 24/96 (IIRC), which should still sound pretty damn good. Like I said -- you keep telling yourself that. I think you're speaking in over-generalizations.
BTW, dynamic range <> transients. Yeah, those cannon shots would pop the needle out of the record.
And it doesn't take as expensive a system as you're portraying to keep the rice krispies quiet. I'm pretty sure Hirsch's system (including cleaning machine) is only a couple thousand. I'm also pretty sure it can be done for even less (substituting a different table, and a more manual-intensive record-cleaning machine).