There are very few places that will be more expensive then NJ. In fact there are a few places that I could pay cash for a house right now.. VS. NJ where I will be paying loan payments for the rest of my life.
I personally do not like big cities. I like rural areas but don't want to be so far out that there are no job available for the wife or should anything ever happen with mine. My short list right now is Fayetteville AR and Athens GA. Both have a low cost of living and active communities are they are both college towns. College towns typically make for stable local economies and good food ... Austin TX is also on the list for the reason mentioned by others.