Wayne it's been my experience that puberty aged boys are not at all repulsed by the thought of intimate contact with another male. Many tend to be scared shitless of the consequinces of their peers finding out about any said intimacy, but I can speak first hand to the willingness of almost all of my friends and acquaintances back then, as far as anonymous sex is concerned. And though most of those encounters started out with myself as the "gay" party that provided said stimulation to the "straight" party, that was a passive recipient, many of the boys I fooled around with began to join in as an active participant, without prompting. Part of that may have been the fact that they had come to realize that I did not kiss and tell, and some of that may also have been curiousity at what was almost a freakish looking endowment on a then 100 lb. kid. Either way repulsion was not something I encountered often at all, and I was quite active at that time.
I believe that repulsion is far more a learned response to societies roadblocks and squeemish ideas about same sex activities. Now I'm not at all one who believes that inside every straight man lives a gay man, like some of my brethren like to think. Far from it. I believe that we all fall somewhere along the Kinsy scale. I just believe that men like yourself that exist way over at the straight end are far more infrequent than you give credit for. It's been my experience that many straight guys that are secure in their sexuality are not repulsed by the idea of male on male intimacy. I'm not saying that they want intimacy with other males, I'm saying that the fact that they know that they don't desire intimacy with other males leaves them far less affected by such an idea. Repulsion and fear are linked together very closely IMO.
I'll use Colin and Ari as a case in point. IMO Colin and Ari both are straight men that have no desire for male on male sex. However Colin and Ari both were very comfortable hanging out with Fitz and myself, in the Castro, in a gay bar. It's my opinion that the reason they were perfectly comfortable, and showed no signs of repulsion at the somewhat intimate nature of other gay inhabitants of the bar is because they're quite comfortable with who they are. I also believe that many of the HC members that were at MOAII showed the exact same sense of ease about gay men in general.
As for the number of men willing to cross the same sex borders, you'd never believe the number of married "straight" men that make their way into gay sex clubs. And many of them act quite miffed if you show no desire in 'servicing' them. I imagine even Shelly knows exactly what I'm talking about. It just seems to be much more about availability of someone that can satisfy one's sexual desires/needs, than it is about prefernce IME. Many straight guys are more willing to cross lines to get what they want than I think you've been privvy to. IMO that doesn't necessarily make them gay, or bi for that matter, it just makes them needier than others perhaps. I have no doubt that if they could find women that would attend to their needs in a casual and secretive manner, that's where they'd be going instead.
Now please don't in any way think that I'm suggesting any kind of latent homosexuality in yourself or anyone else that feels a sense of repulsion at the thought of gay sex. I truley believe that you're probably as straight as they come. I just think that many men don't have the same uneasiness that you feel, even though I don't think that they're anymore 'gay' than you. I'm just opening up the idea that you may have been conditioned to feel more uneasy about it at some point in your life.
While it is true that some gay men seek out straight men for sexual encounters, and I can certainly understand the uneasiness or even anger that can cause, IMO it's a small percentage of the gay population that does so. Most of us prefer to have consentual sex with another male that shows the same desire/attraction for us as we do them. One way sex is rather boring and even degrading IMO. And I also find it no different than a straight guy trying to pick up a woman that is obviously less than interested. So I just don't understand where the fear stems from, but many people tend to fear those that are different from themselves.
