Generally people refer to me in all things whiskey around here. I'm kind of known for that. In this case however, I think my compadres have given some excellent suggestions, so nothing to add.
1980 Mercury Bobcat.
I inherited it from my Mother, who inherited it from my Grandfather. Luckily I only had to drive it for a few months, before it self ignited. A short in the wiring burnt up the entire engine bay area. What a POS!