Wmcmanus

I like the bit at the end, "Ich liebe Sprite."

I don't know about that, Nate, but it sure makes me feel good to see little kids staring in awe. Sometimes their mouths are open so wide you think they're going to hurt themselves! This happened again last night when I was doing a late late night run on my scooter (in truth, just to have some fun and be "seen" on Christmas Eve). Here's an excerpt from an email that I sent to a friend last night when it was still fresh in my mind. He was one of my college roommates and now (among other things) is providing full time (24/7) care for his mom who has Alzheimer's and is always asking him what Santa has been up to. He's been reading all of my Santa emails first, he then reads them out loud to her, skipping any foul language! ... "... Old St. Nick just got back in tonight. Checked in again the hospital late this evening after doing all of my scheduled Christmas Eve visits... There was an 11 year old boy who is autistic and developmentally more like a 6 year old who I spent some time with. His parents were there, mom being a cop and dad being a security guard, both in uniform and would have otherwise been working tonight. He was on an IV. Not sure what was wrong with him tonight outside and whatever is wrong with him to begin with. Kind of sad, but he's now a real believer (if wasn't still a believer to begin with, and he probably was). He seemed/talked just like a normal kid, but more innocent than he should have been for his age. I've got this stuff called "Snow in Seconds" which comes in a white powder that looks like sugar or salt. Add cold water and it puffs up and looks and feels like snow. So I had him make some of that, and then showed him the rest of the tricks in my bag (Santa's magic key, Rudolph's calling bell, and the red light on my thumb that makes Rudolph's nose so bright). The kid was in awe and his parents were delighted. Then I moved down the hall and there was a young boy about 7 or 8 on some sort of cooling oxygen. He was wearing a mask over his face and sitting there in his room alone, no bed or TV, some sort of waiting room I guess. His mom apparently had stepped but didn't return when I was there. It was pretty awkward trying to talk to him because he couldn't talk back with the breathing mask on and I had no idea what was wrong with him. I called a nurse over just so that there would be another adult in the room because you never know what you'll be accused of these days, but it was very sad, him being there and looking lonely and scared. He did take some candy and I patted him on the head after the nurse arrived and told him that Santa pats help little boys heal. As I stepped out into the hallway there were 3 or 4 little girls in the 2-5 range, all of whom seemed to be children or grandchildren of hospital employees (one lady in a custodial uniform claimed a cute little 3 year old Jamaican girl with long braids as her granddaughter). A dozen cell phone pics from a half dozen different phones with people jumping in and out between taking pics and being in pics, and I was headed for the elevator to see what was happening in Pediatrics upstairs. Not much happening, actually. Just a couple more kids who were running high fevers, but nobody deathly ill. One little boy seemed more interested in pointing out the fish in the big fish tank to me than telling me what else was on this mind. He was about 2 and a half, I'd guess, and was nervous at first but then warmed up a bit. I showed the nice looking Jamaican nurse behind the counter the extra special secret button that I wear on the inside pocket of my royal robe that reads, "What happens on Santa's lap stays on Santa's lap!" She chuckled ever so slightly but otherwise seemed unimpressed and definitely uninterested. She then quickly went back to the computer screen I had interrupted her from. Upon leaving there, I cruised back toward West Bay and made a quick stop to meet the 7 year old son of a friend who had helped me out last night as my stand-in Mrs. Claus. I had promised that I'd "meet" her son Nicholas tonight, and so I did, at Treasure Island on SMB. He's a gas, that kid. He actually grabbed my Santa wallet out of the pocket in my robe (little pick pocket) and asked, "What's this? Can I have it?" His mom told me that he was kicked out of school a couple of weeks ago for calling his teacher a bitch! Gotta love it, this kid will do fine life, at least after he serves his time in the joint. After that, I headed back to West Bay and figured I'd call it a night. But Subway was closed and so was Dominos, so I headed home and popped in the door just long enough to empty a bunch of miscellaneous junk from my Santa pant pockets and grab my Vespa keys. Then off I puttered at about 15-20mph back down the road past the Caribbean Bakery to this place I've been meaning to try, to get some jerk chicken and pork. The old Jamaican guy there was happy to serve me but in the 7-8 minutes I sat on the scooter while it idled and I waited for him to do his bit, he didn't once make a single comment about me being Santa. I wonder if he missed that somehow, if maybe nobody ever bothered to tell him about Santa. Some of those old Jamaican guys are hard to read. CI$20 was the damage, so I handed him a CI$25 bill and told him to keep the change and Merry Christmas. He then proceeded to tell me how I'd definitely come back again after I tasted his chicken and pork and how it's better than all of the rest of them. I told him that I only come once per year, and that's always on Christmas Eve, but he still didn't seem to get it. Then off I motored, now with a plastic bag wrapped around my right/throttle hand with 2 styrofoam containers inside, swinging back and forth but secure enough for the short trip back home. My left hand, in the meantime, was free for any Santa waves I might need to make in the meantime. Sure enough, as I was again moving rather slowly for the main road, several cars began to pile up behind me, so I motioned them on with my left hand when I got to a clearing and knew they would have room to pass. The first 2 cars passed without event, but when the third car went by I knew that I had hit pay dirt! Honk, honk, honk, and all kinds of little voices screaming out to Santa! There must have been 4 faces pressed up against the back glass of this little hatchback, so I figured it was my late night (on what was now Christmas morning) duty to follow them, and thankfully they lived just off of the corner from that last big turn in the road as you've heading for my street, maybe 1/4 mile from home, if that. So I just pulled onto the edge of their driveway right behind them and then all sorts of kids poured out. Must have been 7 little girls between 2-7 years old and one 13 year old girl, along with a little 2 year old boy. I learned quickly that they were all cousins and then guessed correctly (based on their manner of dress) that they had just come from Church. I just made the assumption, and asked, "Did you have fun at Church tonight?" What awe! What shocked looks! "How did you know?" To which I replied, "Why, I'm Santa! I've been watching you! I know everything you do, and you girls have all been very good this year!" So they dug into my candy bag after I pointed it out to them (pinched tight against the bike by the front luggage rack which is spring loaded and works perfectly so long as the candy bag isn't completely full). But by this time, I was down to my last pound or two of candy (good riddance because I've been eating a lot of it myself), so I told them they were lucky since it was the end of the night so they could have as much as they wanted. Some of them had to press it against their dresses to hold it all because it was overflowing from their hands. We did some of the usual tricks, Rudolph's calling bell, Santa's magic key, the other set of bells that I ask them to guess what they're used for and then after all of the guesses, I tell them, "Actually, these are just extra bells. They don't do anything special except make noise." For some reason, that's always a big hit. I gave them some of my calling card, some reindeer buttons, and $1 million each of North Pole currency, and then rode off, figuring I was done for the night. But when I got to my driveway, for some reason even after midnight, I was urged on... so down my own road I went. Only one house with people in the living room, and they saw me right away. It was easier for me to just stop at the edge of the road rather than on their driveway. A couple of moms and two 14 year old girls, cousins, as well as a little boy, 2 years old if that. Not ideal ages, either too old or too young, but we chatted for a while and out came the cell phones again. Jada, the 14 year old who lives there (or so I'm now told, had never seen her or her mom before to the best of my memory) told me that she always knew that the real Santa lived on her block but had never actually seen me. She said that the kids at her school have been telling her that for years, but she always had her doubts, but now she'll have pictures that she can show them to prove that it really is true! I gave her me email address and she promptly inputted it to her Blackberry and promised to send along the pics. We'll see if she does, but it's unreal how quickly she blazed her fingers across that keypad! Wish we had Blackberries back in the day. My last stop was the house right next door which is where my friend and former student Theresa lives with her 13 year old son (she's a single mom). I drove up her circle driveway, pointed my headlight right through her full glass front door and began honking and shaking my jingle bells for all they were worth. Her son, who she's talked about every time I've seen her for the past 13 years, came out first. A slim and handsome young man. Last time I talked to him (as me), he was maybe 8 or 9. Couldn't remember his name for the life of me and still can't. Obviously a non believer, but we found common ground and chatted about all sorts of things for 3 minutes solid before we both were getting bored and then she appeared. She's such a nice woman, and ever so thankful for my stopping by to see her and what's his name, and for making her Christmas extra special this year... yada yada. Ok, so now I'm thinking, 'I've been in this suit for what must be 12 straight hours now, so I really should go home and get off of my high.' But as I was leaving their driveway, just 3 doors down from home, I suddenly had a great idea. So I stopped quickly and motioned them down the driveway to see me for one last thought. I said to him, "Young fella, do you know that girl next door?" He seemed confused, and said that, no, he didn't. I asked him if he was sure. He seemed confused. So I told him, "Well, there's a girl who lives right next door to you, and her name is Jada. She's 14 and she's beautiful. If Santa was a young man like you, he would find a way to get to know her... and... do you know what?" He paused, so I asked him again. "Do you know what?" He just said, "No." I told him, "Well she seems to know you, and I think she really likes you! That's what!" Then I let my voice trail off a bit and said, "But I suppose maybe she's too old for you, I mean you being just 13..." Then he piped up and said, "That's Ok, I can deal with that!" So then I said, "Well, maybe you do know her then, huh?" Now he was getting really shy, and said, "Well, I've seen her around, but I don't really know her." So I told him, "Well, when I was a boy, a long time ago, all we had to do was go out on the street and throw the football around for a while, me and my friends... and the girls would all come out to talk to us... you do have a football, don't you?" He said, "Ya, I do actually. I'll have to give that a try." Of course, I made up all the shit about Jada knowing who he was and liking him, but if he thinks she does, then she probably will. As I was leaving, I told Theresa that I expected regular updates on the progress of this matter with him and Jada, and that I'd be back next year to see how they were doing. Who knows, maybe he'll get that football out and give it a try..."

Done! At least for the business end of it. But I'll suit up again tonight and probably tomorrow as well just for an hour or two each day. I want to check in again at the hospital. I've been going about every 2nd or 3rd day, whereas in past years I would just go on Christmas Eve. Not much was happening this week in Pediatrics but one of the nurses called this morning and said that they admitted a 9 year old boy in ER who suffered multiple knife wounds. How and why that would have occurred I have no idea. She said they've patched him up (not exactly her words, but my interpretation) and that he'll be heavily sedated for most of the day, but that maybe he'll be alert enough tonight for a visit. Man, just when you start feeling like you're on top of the world! My girlfriend is off Island at the moment but I'll be having dinner with her mom and several of her siblings. Two of her younger sisters came along as Miss Claus and Mrs. Claus last year on Christmas Eve, so I just called them and they want to be my helpers again, except one of them wants to be Rudolph. Should be errrr, fun? I just can't imagine what a 9 year old boy could have possibly done on Christmas Eve to deserve this fate?!?!?! Fucking sick world we live in.

Happy birthday guys!

I did it!!! Eleven Christmas Eve appearances, and not one was more than 15 minutes off schedule, despite traffic that didn't always cooperate. Just now getting home after a LONG day and night! On my 10th visit, I was invited to come back for the after hours party. It would be an hour later by the time I could get back (at 11:30pm), but I promised that I'd try.. and in fact did! Had a couple of quick rum and cokes and did my last Santa chuckles for the night, then excused myself before their kids woke to see that I had returned. I don't think I've ever felt so appreciated for anything I've ever done in my life before. Everywhere I went tonight was a great experience. They were all so well organized and determined to make my stay comfortable and thankful, telling me how great I looked and how convinced the kids were, etc. Then when I opened all of the envelopes, I was surprised to see that 9 out of 11 had tipped me at least 20%, and in one case it was a 100% tip!!! I've got 3 more to do tomorrow/this morning, and then that's it. Exhausted, but really pumped at the same time. I couldn't have imagined it going this well without doing any advertising whatsoever. Next year will be twice as busy but there's no way it can be twice as fun. I was so pumped that when I finally got back home, I jumped on my Vespa and rode up and down my block to see if anyone still had lights on... at 12:45am. Just one house, and they all came pouring out to the road, wondering why I was so late this year!?!? When I told them that I have "gone pro" the 14 year old neighbor girl said, "Well, it's about time!" Indeed. I'm hooked.

Merry Christmas! I'm exhausted!!!

Thanks, man! I do have lots of time, so that's not an issue at all. It's become a part of my constitution. Some people are golfers, some like to spend their time and money on their boats, you know. This is the first year I've ever charged anyone for anything. But (until this year) I've never spent a lot of money on the hobby so it wasn't an issue. Figured that on an average year I spent maybe $500-$1,000 between candy (lots of it), ongoing costuming costs, and other giveaway items (small toys and books). That's very easy to swallow given the joy it brings to so many kids! But this year I went a little nuts and when I did the math suddenly realized that I had spent over $5k in the past 6 months and that the giveaway items alone amounted to over $1k. So I figured that it was time to start recouping some of those costs! Of the 41 scheduled visits, only 9 will have been freebies, but several more were discounted as well (schools and such). When it all shakes out, I'll be in the hole for about $1,500 this year but I can live with that. I spend more than that traveling to headphone meets each year! Everything so far has just been word of mouth. I'm going to have some professional photos and videos done after Christmas and then order some business cards and perhaps do a bit of advertising and promotion next fall. My target will be 75-80 visits, or about double what I did this year. I've actually made some cameo appearances at some of the major hotels and high end restaurants this past week when I've had a little time between appointments, and the reception has been incredible. So hopefully something will develop there. I have several return visits to make after Christmas (as me) to talk about possibilities for next year. I just hope that success doesn't breed contempt. Sometimes it's actually better if you know that it's costing you money (and time) and thus your mind is focused on giving. Paying gigs are great to the extent that they support the hobby, so long as the money itself doesn't become the end goal. At that point, you might as well go sit in a mall for 6 weeks. No thanks!

Still going like crazy with the Santa stuff. Did 7 gigs the past two days, but have picked up 5 more in the meantime. Three days to go counting Christmas day and still 17 scheduled events in front of me (4 tomorrow, 10 now on Christmas Eve and just 3 on Christmas day not counting my usual visits to the children's ward at the hospital and the nursing home). Working tonight to coordinate everything. Sending out tons of emails to confirm the details with all sorts of people. Responding to text messages and cell phone calls, and creating a "master plan" for Christmas Eve with all of the times, contact people, addresses, phone numbers, notes for special requests (where to pick up the toys on the way in, etc). Even went out in my reindeer mascot costume for a while this evening (just for the heck of it) after returning from my last Santa appointment.

Ya, I didn't know how to put that exactly. Everything is so different this year. I used to just wander around all the time, and there is a certain satisfaction in that because you're constantly catching people off guard. Now that I'm being paid, I've become a little stingy with my wandering around time because more often than not I'm moving from one event to another and can't be bothered, or am just happy to have a short break. But I've still done a fair bit of it. I've gone through 87 pounds of candy so far. Last year (or maybe 2 years ago) was a record of 171 pounds but I won't get anywhere near that. I go through the most when I'm just out wandering, especially in George Town in the touristy areas. It takes about a half hour to walk a block because you get stopped dozens of times for pictures. Now I'm thinking, "Hey, I could hire a photographer with an instamatic and start charging $5 per picture." But then I slap myself, because that kind of thinking makes me sick! I guess the minute money enters into the equation, it becomes a slippery slope. So I've charged the schools half price and I've done private parties for the kids of friends of mine for free, and I wander (into banks, grocery stores, gas stations, restaurants, etc) and visit with tourists for free. But those are no longer "events" in and of themselves. Now I just do that in between appearances when I'm feeling up to it.

^ I'm still waiting to hear back from several people who wanted me to come on Christmas Eve, but at this point it's fully booked. Some of them might want me to come on the 23rd or on Christmas Day or Boxing Day. I'm expecting the total number of visits this year to be around 40, give or take. I don't think I've ever done more than 10-12 scheduled visits before. So strange. The minute you start charging, people want to book you. If you're willing to give your time for free, they don't call.

Santa is very tired and taking the night off! These past two weekends (and most of last week in general) have been quite busy... but nothing like what's still ahead between now and Christmas day! I've done 17 scheduled/paid visits so far and a ton of unpaid wandering around. Still have 19 scheduled visits to go, including 9 on Christmas Eve. The Christmas Eve visits are each at least 20 minutes of contact time, not counting driving time, but I've organized them such that I'll be able to move from one stop to the next without having to double back except at the end of the night. The other 10 remaining visits are all 1-3 hours each throughout the week, and the phone is still ringing.

The Santa voice sessions:

11 years of light duty prison seems about right to me. At the end of the video clip that Salt Peanuts posted, it states that she'll be in a "minimum security" prison, so it's probably one of those federal golf camps. Wonder if she'll be out in 3 years on parole?

Five minutes you'll never get back but if you've ever spent any time in Florida during this time of year, you'll appreciate it:

Aptly described, although perhaps a few fucks short of the truth. Sounds really rough, man, and that it will continue to be or some time to come. Hang in there and keep us posted on your progress.

Thanks, guys! Having a lot of fun with it this year. That's my mom playing Mrs. Claus, by the way... which is kind of weird in an Oedipus kind of way, but I try not to think about it that way. She's actually perfect for the role, as she raised 6 kids and now has 12 grandkids. She had sent me an email in mid October saying that she would like to visit Cayman in December and play Mrs. Claus. I was kind of taken off guard by that, but quickly got to work finding someone willing to design and sew her costume. It turned out quite well. The baby girl is 38 days old, and is the daughter of my friends Scott and Katie (Scott is the Dean at the college I teach at here).

^ Always nice to have friends, huh Ken? Peter's "anvil" comment was classic. I mean, who (besides Peter) uses words like anvil?

Finally got out for my first Santa gig of the season. It was just a home visit and there were only 7 kids there, but it went quite well. On my way out, some of the neighbors saw me heading for my Ford Edge (not exactly a sleigh) and intercepted me. About then a beautiful little 6 year old girl named Abby came running out to see me. She was so excited, literally jumping up and down and completely beside herself. She inspected my outfit from head to toe and started asking tons of questions about Rudolph, the North Pole, Mrs. Claus, the elves, the sleigh, etc. She pretty much covered all of the bases. I felt like I was taking a final exam at Santa Claus School. I gave her some candy, a small book about dinasours, an "I Believe" trinket style of necklace, and a reindeer coat button just like the ones on my coat. Then as we posed together for her mom to take cell phone pictures of us, she declared me to be the "real" Santa because I had so many sleigh bells. I patted her on the head, told her to keep being good, and to promise that she will send me her list very soon because Christmas is almost here! The rest of the kids were fun too, but they were either too young (2 and under) or a little too old (8 to 10). They all seemed to still be believers but sometimes kids at that age can fake it. The 3-7 year-old kids are usually the most fun because they're all about Santa, like my friend Abby tonight. I don't think she'll be able to sleep for days... Didn't bring my own camera, but I'll see if one of the moms can send me a couple of the pics they took.

Ya, really. Don't tell me it's some kind of turtleneck...

Here you go, Al. Would make a nice stocking stuffer, and BluRay no less... Amazon.com: 2010 San Francisco Giants: The Official World Series Film [blu-ray + DVD Combo]: Tim Lincecum, Buster Posey, Matt Cain, Cody Ross, Major League Baseball: Movies & TV

I love how the guy commented about your not putting academics first! What nerve! Exactly how does proctoring and grading HIS exam for his students further your "academics"? Are you supposed to learn something from this experience? Sorry, but I've been teaching for 27 years, and I've yet to learn a thing by grading a stack of exams, let alone sitting in class and watching students take an exam. Bunch of crap. This is why most of these guys couldn't survive in a real job where they actually had to do their own work.

Panasonic 50" VT25 for my home on wheels. Just went into Best Buy trying to figure out how to spend $165 worth of Reward Zone coupons that had accumulated (mostly from buying the 65" version of this same TV a couple of months ago). I knew that I'd end up buying this TV when I got the last one, but figured I'd wait until Spring or Summer when I'd actually be able to put it to regular use. But they had it on sale for $1,979 (it's usually about $2,200-$2,300) and it was bundled with a free Panasonic DMP-BDT100P (entry level 3D Bluray player, retail value $239) and a Panasonic "3D Ultimate Pack" (which includes 2 pairs of 3D glasses and Avatar on 3D Bluray, both of which I would have bought anyway, retail value of $399). I decided to go for it now since this is probably the best deal that Best Buy will ever offer with it. Mind you, they always offer some sort of kicker, but this represents at least $2,850 in retail value for less than $2k. Even without the extra stuff, their current price is competitive. A couple of somewhat reputable e-tailers have it for about $1,850 (Abe’s of Maine and the like), but I always feel better about buying from Best Buy when I can. The other good news is that the promotion that was running when I bought the other TV (up to $300 worth of free installation and calibration services) wasn’t really useful to me since I shipped that TV to Cayman. But now I’ll be able to bring in my receipt for that purchase and have those services applied to this transaction!

What a shame. I had no idea that he was diabetic, but of course as a life-long White Sox fan, I never did pay too much attention to him except for that year at the end of his career when he played for the good guys. As far as the Hall of Fame goes, he came quite close a couple of times but there always seemed to be a couple of better candidates who were newly eligible, and there are only so many votes. He was definitely an all around talent with just an amazing glove (only outdone by Brooks Robinson in that era), a well above average bat, and a natural team leader and true competitor. Maybe he'll get in posthumously on the veteran's ballot.

I'm so proud of myself for deciding to do Santa stuff next weekend rather than coming to this meet. I so wanted to come, but even Santa can't be in two places at once (except on Christmas Eve). I've put a lot of time, effort, money and sweat equity into the Santa hobby these past 20-odd years, but have never charged a dime. At least not until this year! But now that word has spread that I've "gone pro" and have begun to charge, the phone won't stop ringing. It seems that a bunch of companies that had heard about me but had never called before now feel more comfortable in doing so because they don't have to ask for a favor. One lady I talked to the other day said, "Oh, we always knew about you, but we didn't think you would do our party for free. We thought you only did events for schools and charities..." So far for next weekend alone I've got ~$1,900 of gigs lined up, depending on how much time they actually take, and the schedule still isn't all that full. Plus, I've got 3 grade school events (they're no longer free either, but half price) during this coming week. Thus, even if I had opted to attend the meet next weekend I still would have had to fly from Tampa to Cayman and back in order to meet those obligations in Cayman between now and then. It's really a strange feeling being in greater demand than ever now that I'm actually charging for my services.