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jvlgato

High Rollers
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Everything posted by jvlgato

  1. Sucks, CJ.
  2. Chris, SD will probably be more worthwhile, but when you see what a mofo it is to get in the Mini, you may as well up the RAM while you're in there. I'm sure you'll be streaming music and or video, so it wouldn't hurt!
  3. Happy belated!
  4. Ed those look so awesome, forget the fax, I'm booking the first flight out!
  5. Ouch. Feel better soon!
  6. Happy Birthday!
  7. Huge congrats, Haj! I still remember going to my parent's naturalization when I was a kid. I felt so proud. Very exciting!
  8. Happy birthday!
  9. Damn, that would freak me out! Good luck!
  10. Oh, right! I'm a very slow drinker, unfortunately.
  11. I'm always up for better head! But, I wonder if using that machine would ultimately flatten the beer, since it seems to be pushing more of the dissolved carbon dioxide out of solution?
  12. Spatchcock Chicken, my first air chilled, and it was good. Beat the huge thunderstorm by half an hour!
  13. Ouch, I've never melted a pan in my life. That sounds awful!
  14. Mmm , looks tasty!
  15. Good job, Mike! Focus on making it fun and enjoying being outside and seeing the neighborhood for now. Soon enough, it'll be fun for the other reasons.
  16. Happy Father's Day Dads! Exciting news, Tyler!
  17. That looks great! Except for the head cheese. Ew.
  18. Because he needs money?
  19. Happy birthday, Peter! And agree, I can't beat my 9 year old son at any video games.
  20. That looks really good. Ain't no food truck around here that has that!
  21. Bacon Tea and Crumpets?
  22. Ha, that's great! I wonder if all different Asians smell the same, too?! Just 2 weeks ago, I had a black patient tell me I looked like some Asian actor on a CSI show. I had no clue who this guy was, but I looked him up, said that he looked pretty good, so I'll take it, and had a good laugh. She laughed back, then said 'you know, I guess that's what they say about us black people, too!' We both laughed about that. She paused, then she said, and I'm not kidding, 'yeah, but you know, it's not really true that we black people all look alike ...(long pause) ... but now, YOU guys, you really DO all look the same!' That just really cracked me up. I explained a study I'd read about how when people see a race they're not familiar with, they tend to focus on their group similarities rather than their individual differences, but over time, with more exposure, they start to see the differences. She said, 'so you mean like I might only notice the straight brown hair at first?' Yes! I said. (Long pause, rubbed chin) 'No, I think you all just look the same!' True story. Ya gotta love it! Good to know, thanks. I'll smell for some headphones owned by Carreras or Domingo. Can't you just blame the Moors? Gosh, I'm so sorry! I forget which stereotype you are, though ... Russian was it? I'm not sure how to smell for those headphones. Vodka is odorless to me. Caviar maybe?
  23. I dunno, I think we're all being a little hard on HPA. I'm sure he can distinguish Stevie Wonder's black people gel from his own white people gel, because black people have a certain black people smell to them, Stevie in particular. BTW, I have a pair of old 1970's vintage phones that I bought off eBay for $1,000 that was worn by the infamous murderer Jheri Curl on the night Cookie-Head got killed. I know it was his, because it smells strongly of jheri curl activator. And the negroes of that era wore a lot of activator. I can prove it here: http://youtu.be/65ltaw4SF38 Also, I have a pair of headphones that Woody Allen wore on the set of Manhattan. I know it was his, because it smells like that stuff Jewish people wear to keep their yarmulkes on their heads. It's pretty distinct, it's strong, and, having grown up in a Jewish neighborhood, and having a lot of Jewish friends (thus proving I'm not Anti-semitic), I know that odor anywhere. You may ask how I know it wasn't just any Jewish person, but I'm pretty sure there's a bit of black people smell, too, and Woody used to show up in New York jazz clubs to play jazz clarinet, and there are a lot of black people at jazz clubs. How many headphones smell of both Jewish AND black people? (*Disclaimer - the jazz shot captured here does not show actual black people in it. However, it is a fact that black people love jazz, so that's proof enough*) And finally, the best vintage headphones in my collection. A pair that Bruce Lee wore on the set of Entering the Dragon, the best martial arts movie ever made. You may ask how I know that it's Bruce Lee's. Well, it smells like egg rolls. And, being Chinese, I KNOW the smell that Chinese people who have used that Chinese oil to fry egg rolls in. It's very distinct, I grew up with it in my house, and my whole damn family smells like it. I can smell a Chinese person walking towards me from a mile away. It's not BAD mind you, it's very familiar, and it reminds me of warm feelings, growing up in my happy, fuzzy Chinese household eating egg rolls all the time. My non-racist friends used to comment on my egg roll smell all the time. It never bothered me at all, it made me feel good, because when I cried, they would always say to quit being so sensitive, they're my friend, after all! We would then fight, them trying to hit me, and me dodging them in a variety of incredible kung fu moves, even though I never took kung fu lessons, and the words emanating from my mouth oddly not matching my mouth movements. I can let all of these classic, celebrity-verified cans go for a very reasonable price. They'll be on e-Bay under the tag 'celebrity verified by racial stereotype headphones'. 10% discount for all HC members.
  24. Very smooth, Al! Happy Birthday, Karyl!
  25. mushroom onion garlic mayo bacon angus burger truffle parmesan fries
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