It really is amazing the number of "straight" married men that hang out at gay bars looking for some action.
Women are pretty much the opposite. There are quite a few women in lesbian relationships who are, in general, more attracted to men than women but have been hurt by men and who feel safe and comfortable with another women. So they turn to the same sex not for sexual gratification buy emotional gratification. I have also known women who say that they aren't gay but just X-sexual (where X is the name of their partner).
On another note, I have had a few straight women who have been interested in fooling around with me (because I wasn't really butch they basically said). One woman was really attractive and I even had a little crush on her (not my first straight woman crush unfortunately). I never did anything because I didn't feel comfortable messing around with someone that I didn't know well and I had a fear of getting too emotionally attached (which women tend to do when there is kissing and stuff involved).
Ken, I am really sorry to hear about Gary. I watched my uncle die of AIDS when I was in high school and it was a terrible thing. RIP Gary.