I have a Cousin from Texas that I've had a rocky relationship with. I attended his wedding when we were both 18. I loved his wife. She had the ability to find humor in bad situations and disarm people with laughter. Honestly she was the sole reason that my Cousin and I had any shred of a relationship. He belonged to an odd and small church. I believed them to be a cult. We got along fine as kids and later when I was in Texas my first year of college. Once I came out that changed. He wasn't aggressive about it, just believed like so many that I had made some type of choice, and would be going to hell because of that. I didn't correspond with him for many years. Later, while I was commercial fishing in Alaska, I took my Mom on a trip during my two months off. We flew to Seattle, rented a car and slowly made our way to Walnut Creek, CA. to visit a good friend. During that trip she told me that my Cousin David was battling cancer. He was stationed in Merced, CA in the military. She wanted to visit him. Honestly I would rather have eaten a gallon of earthworms, but I could see the concern in my Mother's eyes and in her voice. So we made the short trip to Merced. He was gracious and I felt sorry for his situation. At the same time, I had met his 4 y.o. Son for the first time. As boys will do, he quickly decided to see if I was friend or foe and within minutes was treating me like a jungle Jim. I could see the concern in David's face. My Mom tried to explain to him that I loved kids and was happy to entertain his Son as they caught up. What my Mom couldn't understand and what I understood immediately was that the concern was not about the boy annoying me. It was a look I'd come to know all too well when innocent child play meets adults that equate gay men with pedophiles. I was absolutely fuming inside, but kept my feelings hidden. Then just like on command his wife Shirley recognized his distress and immediately put me at ease while making him look ridiculous all at the same time. She invented new games and initiated more roughousing between us. I loved that woman! My Mother completely oblivious to the whole interaction. Honestly, she made my uncomfortable trip fun and I chuckled to myself about her understanding and good nature. I had seen them on a half dozen occasions or so while in Texas. Especially when first our Grandmother took ill. And again later with our Grandfather. Fast forward to about a year ago and his wife Shirley passed away quickly and unexpectedly after a massive heart attack. She was his whole world and again I found myself feeling sorry for him. Then about 6 months ago or thereabouts he called me out of the blue. He told me he was planning to visit his Son in Arizona. The same Son. We had developed a friendship, while he and his Father had become estranged. I had built the Son Logan a custom gaming desk when he was a teen, and we shared several interests and ideologies. Anyway, David called and asked if he could drive up and see me after visiting his Son. I almost said no thanks, but my Mom hadn't been gone for that long and I thought about how that would've made her happy. So I once again uncomfortably agreed. He visited for two days. We went to his favorite winery in Sonoma, had a few meals together and I honestly had fun. He seemed a bit lost but had plans to travel some and was in generally good spirits. I can't ever remember laughing with him more than those two days. And he fell in love with my dog Maki. Financially he was in a good place. Owned several rental homes. A nice home in San Antonio, TX and a summer home in Cloudcroft, NM. About a week ago I got a call from my favorite Aunt (his Mom was a fun Aunt too, but had passed a year or so before my own Mother). She informed me that they had found him in one of his rental homes. He had committed suicide and had been dead a few days. I was shocked! He just didn't seem the type to ever even consider suicide. We weren't the best of friends and he was full on MAGA, but I am really glad that I welcomed him out to visit. R.I.P. David Christiansen I'm not a religious person. I don't believe in a God. But I'm smiling a little bit thinking that he's just entering his "heaven", and it's full of rainbow flags. They've assigned Harvey Firestein to be his guide and mentor.