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Wow. OK, so at least now I know that he was repeating something he heard. And probably not something he meant as a direct attack aimed at me personally. It's still incredibly poor judgement, but that's much easier to navigate than the alternative. This morning when my direct manager came into work, he immediately asked how I was feeling, and said he'd been worried about me since I escaped early the day before. We went somewhere private and I told him some things that I'd gone through during the AIDS epidemic that might bring some understanding to my emotional breakdown. Some of those I've never spoken to anyone about. I don't want to elaborate on that here, but a lot of my issues stem from survivors guilt. You think you're beyond events that happened 40 years ago and out of the blue something triggers you all over again. He was incredibly sympathetic and completely understood how that could affect me the way it did. He's straight, but "California straight", which is to say very insightful and dismissive of anyone who isn't. I explained to him that I decided I didn't want to take this event any further. I didn't want to admonish this young man, and I really didn't want to involve upper management. He respected those wishes, but he did suggest that tomorrow (Saturday), while all of the office staff and upper management were away for the weekend, he direct myself and this young man to a private office space. He told me that if I were willing for the two of us to have a private, civil conversation and explain some of the events that I'd discussed with him, and what triggered my response to the 'joke' he told, he thought this young coworker would be sympathetic and it might be a positive lesson to learn earlier as opposed to later. I'm not completely comfortable doing so, but I do think he's probably correct. And I don't want this to fester. As much for my own piece of mind than any other reason. We'll see how that goes, but I do suspect his instincts are good ones.

RiP

I have often said that hatred starts as ignorance. I DO think political correctness has gotten out of hand, but on a personal level understanding what you're saying and to whom it is being said matters. I'm sure he's a fine young man, but with "young" being the operative word, he's likely pretty susceptible to influence by others. Maybe his fragile state and need to feel acceptance is there too. So he emulates the others to be accepted into their circle. I'd say talk to your manager first, and see if he is willing to say something. Tough situation, you don't want to put the kid on the spot or deeply accuse him, but it sounds like he needs to hear something about his behavior before it gets worse and maybe turns into TRUE hatred, not just a joke. My 2 cents

People at 18 can have their minds changed. Way more so than people at 50. It may not be something you can do, but there is at least hope something will click.

This is my latest to add to the growing collection, I think a may have a problem... oh well. This is a Simon Marty guitar, it features his innovative radial bracing, the back and sides are ancient Huon pine, salvaged before a dam flooded a valley, estimated between 1000 -1500 years old, the neck is Australian rosewood and the top is spruce.

Sad indeed. R.I.P. Catherine O'Hara.

Amazing from SCTV to Schitt's Creek and on through recent dramatic roles. RIP to the legend Catherine O'Hara. Sad day. ☹️

Carr has had a number of comeuppances over his early years. Now 53 he seems to be past this shady past. Who can ever forget the late great Sean Locke in Carrot in the Box on 9 out of 20 cats does Countdown

RIP Catherine O' Hara. Details coming.

At times humor is like music, something that you find of your liking or fun at some point, becomes absurd and despicable at another. If your impressions on this young man are right, he is still a good person worth your consideration. For some reason he found the joke fun, he shared it with a good intention and most likely he didn’t consider all the implications. As I see it, just asking him why he thought the joke was funny might clear up things.

I don't know this kid, but I don't see the homophobic element to his stupid "joke." I think it demonstrates a racial commentary because AIDS in Africa really wasn't about the gay community. I think he was just mocking Africans. Regardless, I don't see why you wouldn't tell him how offensive it was and make clear you don't approve of or accept that kind of comment. If he truly feels that way, he doesn't deserve your affection or attention.

Kazuhito Yamashita 25 March 1961 – 24 January 2026