Leaderboard

June is gay pride month. I remember my first time marching in a gay pride parade. It was 1984 and I was 23 years old. It was in Anchorage, Alaska. I had just recently come out to my family, and I was finally ready to overcome my embarrassment and stand with my friends in a public setting. It was absolutely a milestone for me after years of shame. During our march a protest group from the Anchorage Babtist Temple decided that they could not let a group of LGBTQ people come across as normal, and allow us a peaceful march. I was personally spit on and damned to hell by a very Motherly looking woman in her 40s. A few people were actually slapped and punched. The police were called to the scene, but did nothing at all. Instead of having the effect they had hoped for, it just cemented our will. That event more than any other started my personal quest for equal rights. About that same time period, Ronald Reagan's stance on AIDS activated my interest in politics. While I don't really think of myself as an activist, I do believe in being out, open and taking a stand. I try to encourage others to do the same. I also remember a night at the gay dance club " The Village", when a group of gay bashers came in to wreak havoc. That didn't work out how they had planned, as they were vastly outnumbered. I'm sure they expected a group of "nelly" little queens to cower at their feet. But what actually happened was that they were outnumbered by about 5 to 1, beaten and ran out of the club. Cops were called, but again did nothing, even though a license plate was observed and given. Later I moved to Texas. In Texas I first lived in a town called Tyler. I moved there with two friends. In Tyler the rental properties are mostly managed by a few companies. We tried to find an apartment, and even though we all had good credit, could afford first and last months rent and so on, we kept being denied. I couldn't understand why. After about a week of trying multiple places with no luck, we happened to be at WalMart shopping. I noticed two obviously gay guys, went over and introduced myself, then told them about our plight. They told me about an untold rental policy against gay men, where 3 or more men would not be rented an apartment together. They told us that you have to act straight and apply with only one other male. I was a bit dumbfounded at that. After that we went another route and looked at renting houses from private owners. We found a place in one day. 3 years later I moved to Port Aransas, TX, to help my Mom with her storage business. In lovely Port Aransas I encountered sub contractors that would not work on site unless I left the jobsite. I actually put up with that for several years, then realizing that I was the main reason why the business was successful, I just declined to leave the jobsite. The subcontractor could either stop being a bigot and do his job with me there, or a new subcontractor could be hired. He chose to keep making money off of us, but still tried to be an intimidating prick. It didn't work. I guess I'm spouting all of this because a recent post about parents going to gay pride with their child really got me thinking. Thinking how things have changed so much over the years, at least in California. I doubt things will change in small town Texas anytime soon. I thought about how I had been embraced at my job for being a great carpenter, and treated as a valued co-worker by the crew and subs. I thought about how I hadn't heard the word "faggot" in 6 1/2 years. I thought about having a straight best friend that is completely unaffected by my homosexuality. I thought about the many LGBTQ people around me living their lives around other people that are almost oblivious to any difference. Not long after moving to Texas, I was doing some remodel work for an Aunt. One day off the top of her head she just said to me, "I don't mind gay people, I just don't like it when they flaunt it in my face". I had no idea what to say to that, so I said nothing. Maybe a day or two later she said, "at least you're not one of those militant gays". At that point I popped off with a sarcastic."yeah, I hate those, they're almost as bad as militant Black people". Expecting a shocked silence from her, I was instead bombarded with a tirade of agreement, only she didn't use the term Black people. She actually though I was being serious. I re-evaluated my need for money over my need for respect, and left that day, job unfinished. I haven't spoken a word to that Aunt since. Today I'm considering semi retirement, and evaluating where I can afford to live vs. where I want to live. I'm having a hard time imagining going back to that mindset. I would honestly rather struggle financially than mentally. Sometimes we forget how good things have gotten compared to how things had been previously. My mental health and sense of self worth, while not perfect, is better than it's ever been. I just want to recognize that. I want to thank all of you for being a part of that for me. And I want to hear what you think about gay pride and what, if any effect it's had on you or your loved ones?

I'm just so happy to see how young people today have it easier than my generation did. And that also makes me so thankful for generations before me, that really had it hard, but persevered anyway. My Grandmother had a Cousin who way gay. She condemned gay people as much as anyone of her time did, but for some reason she had a place in her heart for her Cousin Ray. He was a hand model in NYC. He met a man named Terry in his early twenties, and their relationship outlasted my Grandparents. 68 years together, before Terry passed. They were amazing! Terry wrote jingles for commercials. Even my Grandfather so liked and respected them. After my Grandmother had passed, he still saw Ray and Terry, and he attended Terry's funeral. I wish I had told my Grandfather. But my Mother asked me not to, and I didn't fight her on that, though I should have. My Grandfather loved me dearly, and I would have loved to let him know me fully. I know that he would have been fine with it. It's kind of hard to describe how you can feel like a deceiver in your own family. It fucks with you. Oh, and BTW, I hate showtunes too!

Firstly, thank you for sharing your story Steve. I am so, so sorry that you had to endure that pain throughout your life. I've never understood the violent expression of that kind of hatred toward another person. Personally, I have had many gay friends all my life, from high-school & long since into adulthood. I've always been a close friend & an ally. This month, I think of my mother's 85y/o cousin who passed-away just a few weeks ago. She had moved to Green Bay many years ago to live with her "friend" - a Catholic nun. Although most of us understood their relationship, her sexuality was never discussed openly amongst family (not that we necessarily should have). But I was always sad that she felt she had to move so far away from family to live her authentic self. Today, I have nieces & nephews in their twenties who are openly gay/trans, and am glad my family as a whole embrace them as they are. Maybe that's a sign that there has been progress & this is a better time. Let's hope.

And then in the second set they did the "big three" Including A song about a camel that's now celebrating its 50th anniversary. " It's been good to me, I hope it was good for you"

Below is a personal history, but doesn’t really answer your question about what gay pride is, and afraid my answer there is pretty generic and from the outside - a time to celebrate, and show support, for a group of people, hidden and misunderstood too long. I've been very slow to a pickup on a lot of things (it took a biological daughter, not girlfriends or a sister or mother or grandmothers, let alone general history or lit, or eyes simply being open, to really kick off feminism in my life). Likewise, mostly my narrow worldview, but also growing up in a seemingly 183% straight, white, Christian Ohio farm town (our diversity was also having Amish straight, white, Christians), resulted in a radar that would best be described as "inactive." Of course, that wasn't how it really was and I hate in hindsight especially not being a better ally to a couple people. But once I went to college (keep in mind I'm old) for visual arts, it was a whole different picture. You know when some of your white friends really get into Blues, early Rock, R&B, and/or Jazz and it also transforms their view of race and they want to celebrate it? Well, probably not surprisingly substitute painting and sculpture and there are long periods of generally not the straight world where the rebellious magic is happening (even if different than a modern notion of orientation). The slightest tip of the iceberg hits [likely] da Vinci, Caravaggio and Michelangelo through Bacon, Warhol, Kahlo, and Hockney. It's practically an endless list and undeniable the contributions to larger America and the world. They brought a disproportionate shit ton of beauty into the world, we're all so much better for it, and we all should be proud (a little outsiders pride!). And any "issue" less significant than that, seemed pretty silly to continue to argue over to that art student. That was my dam breaking, and that change was certainly quickly reenforced as I got to know more and more people over the years, including you Steve. And next up my child wants to join the club. Also bad/good/great show tunes are bad/good/great!

What an incredible story Steve, and I so admire how you persevered throughout many times and places of ignorance and hatred. In my life we've been blessed to have many family friends, several of whom are gay. My father and stepmother were minority owners of a travel agency with a gay friend. He was always part of the family, as were the owners of a B&B in Maine (since sold). Many an event had these friends there, and we were all just part of the family (one of the B&B owners just happen to be a great cook, and made the best desserts I've ever had). In college we had an LGTBQ club (and this was Babson College, a conservative Business School). I had thought that an RA in my dorm was gay, but he never came out in school. He is out many years now, and very happy I'm happy to say, today. The only negative experience was with a friend in High School. Chris never formally came out, but all of us knew he was gay and he was always just one of us. I found out while in college that he killed himself. I don't know the reasons, but I always feared he struggled with coming out; maybe something with his family, I don't know. It's wonderful to see so much being the norm now, love is truly love. But therefore it's so sad to see those spots where things are not normal, for gay people or any other person who is treated as an outcast. Funny story: one year when Karen and I were in Ogunquit, she took me to a place called The Front Porch. Very much a gay spot, though many different-sex couples like us would be there, too. It was a lot of fun, but I had to admit I disliked the place. Not because gay people were there, but because they sang (with wonderful voices though) too many show tunes. And I really friggin' hate show tunes! 🤣 EDIT: and to answer the question, what does Gay pride mean to me? It means I have more wonderful people in my life to teach me more about life and to be their wonderful selves.

Hello Sonoma! Sonoma Sundays on the plaza With Maria Muldaur As an 81 year old lady, she can still sing the blues, but asks us to be present and put away our phones, cameras and video's and pay attention as "She's trying to work over here" . I can only respect her wishes. After a rockin' hour and a quarter set she's taking a well deserved break, before doing the same again. As I said to Joanne, this audience makes you feel young 😉 She has quite a repertoire of other people's songs, but she sang one of her few self penned numbers, from the pandemic. We should all be lucky enough to have so much life in us, at her age. Her red hot Louisiana blues band are not too shabby either.

At least you can still get deep fried forskins to go. Brent?

Sonoma Sundays on the plaza picnic chicken curry

Some recent funnies....who does that protestor look like? 🙂 Schrödinger's cat?

Don't know if this should go into Speaker Porn, Amplifier Porn, or if we should create a new topic, Cable madness! Holy shitballs!

Had to borrow a 3D printer, but challenge excepted, and your AirPod stand is complete. Be sure to leave it on the street on Wednesday morning.

8 years ago today the guy who runs The Absolute Sound tried to liberate my stuff.

Wait until it hits 110 degrees in the shade! Hottest summer I ever spent was when I worked at the capital during college. And I had to wear a suit to work. 🥵